News Jokes

What can read 105 stories in ten seconds?

New Yorkers

I just read that someone in New York gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy.

teacher we have new student hes an orphan student oof teacher is anyone missing student his parents

What's the similarities between the New York Jets and the World Trade Center? They both fall I'm September.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Me in 2078 when the COVID-19 delta alpha theta beta cya layta alligayta nlgga chungus sussy deef clussy sussy bussy cunnybrap variant comes out and I need to stay in lockdown for another 2 years with my new mandated virus stopper buttplug 9000

Doctor: I have bad news. Man: What? Doctor: There are two things wrong with you. First, you have cancer. Man: Oh, no... Doctor: Second, you have Alzheimer's. Man: Well, at least I don't have cancer!

Did you know that McDonald's have a new McScully burger?

It's a 59-year-old piece of meat in a 2-year-old bun.

I thought gender reveal parties were only for new borns, not for teen agers.

I wanted to hire a butler for my new mansion in downtown LA. As he arrived, he introduced himself and I discovered it was Ghostionel Pessi. I asked him why is he working as a butler? He told me that “ a big game is coming up so he needs to refine his bottleling skills. DAMN PESSI

I did this to my x I stole her wheal chair I new she would come crawling back

Why did the chiken cross the road? to get to your moms house Knock Knock you: whos there? Your new father!

Aaaah I really wish Stephen hawking was an organ donor...

I really need some new part to my gokart

I got the new phone with longer lasting battery but it still lasts longer than your relationships ooooooooooo

Mom:Dont forget to unload the dishwasher

Mom:did you finish ur homework?

Mom:We are going to ur grandmothers house for thanksgiving

Mom:Dad and i talked we are getting a new car next month

Son:u are?? oh my gosh thank you

Mom:No i was just making sure you were getting my texts

Son:that was cruel

Dear Victims.....äh Passengers, we are flying now from Ryadh to New York. Amazing Building...äh Amazing City. Theres online but 2000 there ware two Towers.....äh Restaurants. We Hijack the plane....äh Hi Jack. Jack is my Co-pilot and i said hello. Don‘t scream...History Repea..äh.. History never comes back, we are now flying back to the Airport“💀