Breaking news jokes
Breaking news: Man with Alzheimer's forgets he's blind and recovers from visual impairment.
"If all of these structures break we will all die."
And I said, "Hey, that is not supportive!"
And he said, "It would be breaking news."
Why are they called "breaking news" in the entire world?
Because they are breaking the whole entire news.
Memes
Breaking news (2020): Depressed pigeon misses shitting on people.
*Breaking News!* - Apparently the first person in Melbourne has died because of the Coronavirus. In his house they found 1000 cans of food, 50 kilos of pasta, 80 kilos of rice, 300 toilet rolls and 50L of hand sanitiser which he had panic purchased from the supermarket and stockpiled "just in case".
The whole lot collapsed and buried him.
Breaking News! A plane crashes into a bridge.
BREAKING NEWS
All the desert regions in the world are now considered lush rainforests. They house many different species of life and have significantly helped with the constant carbon dioxide emissions.
The reason why is because... Your texts are so dry.
Watching the 9/11 documentaries, just watching a kill cam.
9/11 victims are the best readers.
They went through hundreds of stories in a few seconds.
Ya know, Kobe made a real impact on the earth!
A missile hit a hospital earlier this morning. Fortunately, no one was injured - but 100 were killed.
The British equivalent to 9/11 would be a big red bus crashing into Big Ben.
Memes
WTF is going on in texas
Ohio getting out of hand
Death
Just wanna repost from my old account
Ohio BRUH
Community
★ intro: dankton ★ Let me just grab this, yep, put that there, zap that, grab this here little voice module, insert that, add the bbl and oh, my god, kare-baby, you're back!
★ chorus: karen & dankton ★ Back with a vengeance, a mac got extended More than an os, i am snappin', avengers Back from the dead, bitch i came out the trenches Opps gettin' red, leave 'em dead, like redemption (yeah) Ms paint, paint the block r… Read more
I have breaking news.