It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
I love you my new phone 📲
Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world? A: New Yorkers. Some of them go through 110 stories in 5 seconds
What NFL teams parts with James Charles!?
Green bay packers & New England Patriots
Why was 6 afraid of 9?
Because 9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1,Happy New Years!
Why can't New your city play chess???
Because they lost 2 towers
Jesse: Do you like my ball?
Mike: Yes, they are very big. I can’t even fit them in my mouth. You bought a new ball, right?
Jesse: No, they do not leave me.
"My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104."
What do eggs use in war? Eggk47s get my yolk this is really cracking me up!
They’d probably get shellshocked, wasn’t it all eggcellent? Ok, Ok, I’m headed for the egg-it.
Why did the new egg fell so good? It just got laid.
Did you hear about the new drink commemorating Princess Diana?
It had nine shots and seven chasers!
How did the hamburger know he needed new pants?
His buns were too tight.
Check out my new song. It’s called “Nlggas in the hood,” and it’s really good, so go listen.
I'm doing a new thing where you say an object in the comments, and I will try to make a joke based off the object.
If you are interested, you can submit an object in the comments.
I will give the person credit each joke I do.
Marriage is like buying a car. You see one that you like and then you buy it. But over the years, it gets older, rusty, and certain parts stop working.
Then you walk into a dealership and look at all the new ones and you're still stuck with the old one. You look over and go, "But I just wanna sit in it. Just once. It's even got leather interior, it's chrome, it doesn't even have oil or gas leaks! And it doesn't squeak!"
My new step father told me that I'm his new son. so I say ok. My step father step father said that my and your mom have a few things in common. I said yeah like what ? My step father said well you came out of your mother's pussy, I eat your mother's pussy. You use suck on your mother's tits, now I suck on your mother's tits. Your mother use to smack you in the ass when you act up, now I smack your mom in the as now. Your mother call me daddy, now I am your new daddy.
what did I say to my friend job ur new name is jojo Siwa
Doctor, can I please have a new butt? My old one has a hole and a crack in it.
I have the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban at the New York Zoo.
What did I say to my friend, "Job, your new name is Jojo Siva?"
Your mama is so skinny that when she went to go outside, the slightest breeze flew her all the way to New Mexico.
