Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app, and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
Okay, so one time a deaf kid got into a car accident, but he didn't herd in on the news.
Love is the best picture you can use to be able for her and I was able for her in the best place for her and I have to be honest and a great team of the team and the way it goes is the first 4th year of my life in my life as a new đź’•.
Why do many New Yorkers like watching Spider-Man?
Because he’s always on the webcast.
His new music video has been leaked. It’s called “Living in a Tree.”
Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.
So I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”
My dad told me a new version of a happy birthday song:
Happy birthday to you, you live in a zoo, you look like a monkey, and you smell like one too!
No offense to anyone reading this on their birthday.
When Knife tells Annoying Orange, "I'm trying something new," Annoying Orange said, "Oh no, are you having a midknife crisis?" and then Annoying Orange laughs.
What did the blond say about the new iPhone?
Krabby Patty jizz sandwich.
Friend: How's it going?
Me: Good, things are good!
Parent: How are you?
Me: Oh, I'm fine!
Twitter: Compose new tweet?
Me: Hellooooo, I would like to tell you about my anxiety & my current greatest fears & let's talk about the impending apocalypse while we're at it.
One thing led to another, now I have a new patio.
Who wants to buy my new NFT?
How it be when the new guy takes too long...
Hay Danny, it's me Johnny.
Johnny: Boss says to kill the guy in red. Point the gun at his head.
Danny: Ok, target locked. 3... 2... 1... bang.
Johnny: Danny, hope you did not get the man in red.
Danny: OH MY BRO FOR REALL.
Your mama is so fat, when scientists discovered her, they thought it was a new galaxy.
If you ever think no one cares about you,
kill someone, then the news will.
If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.
As a brother, I have to report my sister has a few new symptoms that are going around, and those symptoms are that she has big titties, a sweet pussy, and a great personality.
They're making a new Alien movie.
There are so many aliens you can't keep track.
White people: *come to America, meet natives and take food, kill them, rape them, and enslave them.*
Natives: Can y-
White people: Hey, you remember all that horrible sh*t we did to you? Let's have a good laugh about it over dinner with your buddies and my new wives.
Like if you laugh
Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.
