Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between an orphan and cotton?
One gets picked.
A depressed guy walks into a bar and says, "Can I get shot?"
The bartender then says, "You mean, can you get a shot, right?"
The bartender then says, "Well... what drink would you like?"
The depressed guy then responds with, "No, I really want to get shot."
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream cone?
Because he got hit by a bus.
Just got an iPhone 12 for my brother, best trade I've ever made.
I rate it 9/11.
Q: What's the difference between a knife and a razor blade?
A: Depends on which wound bleeds faster.
Your hairline's so messed up that even Martin Luther King Jr. couldn't have a dream about it.
Q: What does a dead prostitute and a swimming pool have in common?
A: They're both cold when you first get in, but warm up after a few strokes.
Me: Hey, do you want to meet my grandma?
Friend: Yeah, sure.
Me: *pulls out gun*
Never mind if I told you, it would go straight through your head.
"Beast Boy Four"
What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?
nothing... they both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.
What's the difference between a black and a white fairy tale? White begins, "Once upon a time..." Black begins, "Y'all mutherfuckers ain't gonna believe dis shit."
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because there would be no home base.
African Kid: "Mom, can we have water?"
Mom: "Sure, it's in the house."
African Kid: *Goes to the fridge and opens the door searching for cold water*
The fridge: ERROR 404 Water Not Found
This isn't a joke, but I'm a survivor and use humor to cope. I find these extremely funny, so please leave the people writing these alone 😭
How do you call a sad coffee? A depresso!
Happiness belonged to you, then gave you depression.
Someone: When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to cheer up.
Me: My, what a great idea! Why didn't I think of that? ;)
Why are there 30 bullets in one clip?
Because that's the average classroom size.
What does the "f" stand for in orphan?
Family.