I told a kid in a wheelchair, "Use your nitro boosts!"
Worst Jokes Ever
One does not simply hand over a jar of dirt.
This anorexic girl wanted to fight me. I told her that I would roast her, but she didn't have any meat.
I was in class and we had to choose another term for words we use everyday. For kid, I chose "child"; for dog, I chose "pet"; and for wife, I chose "dishwasher."
My wife told me to hang her the salt, so I beat the shit out of her. My name's Kyle, by the way.
If your dad didn't bring the milk, what are you dipping your cookies in?
What do a bungee jump and a hooker have in common?
They’re both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you’re pretty much screwed.
How is a woman like a road?
They both have manholes.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
One gets picked, and the other doesn't.
*WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....
What came first? The chicken or the egg?
Which came first? The color orange or the fruit?
Who taught the first ever teacher?
If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?
If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?
In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?
Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'separate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?
How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?
The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?
Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, it's a cop"?
Is it possible to cry underwater?
If two left handers have an argument, who is right?
I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O
The emo kid tried to give the tree a high five. Unfortunately, the tree left him hanging...
What's the only type of abortion Republicans will never try to legislate against?
A school shooting.
What's the only type of abortion Republicans will never do anything to prevent?
A school shooting.
You know, their family dinners must be so happy.
I was cutting the vegetables and my mom asked how I was so skillful.
Me: Do you like cobble?
My friend: No.
Me: Gobble deez nuts!
Your hairline looks like the McDonald's logo.
Why is an orphan bad at hide-and-seek?
Because nobody will actually look for them.
How did the emo kid compliment the other emo kid? He said, "I like your cuts G."
Dentist said I grind in my sleep... he a real one for that.
