Never jokes
Two nuns are riding their bikes down a cobblestone path.
One nun turns to the other one and says, "I’ve never come this way."
The other one says, "Neither have I. It must be the cobblestones."
I tried being an emo, but I never got the hang of it.
POV: You keep having auditory hallucinations and fully believe your house is haunted because you never went and got diagnosed for schizophrenia.
What's the difference between a six-year-old and a submarine?
I've never been inside a submarine.
Donald Trump is to white Americans as O.J. Simpson is to black Americans. They will never choose to convict these people even if they murdered or raped.
Why did Marxism never catch on in England?
Because then it would be impossible to get proper tea.
What does Michael Jackson say when he grabs his crotch? I never noticed that before.
Why did Playboi Carti’s partner complain about their love life? Because he kept repeating the same track and never reached the climax.
What goes up but never comes down? Your age. You have probably heard this joke before.
I'm so jealous of babies with anencephaly.
They can eat all the ice cream they want and never get brain freezes.
My ex broke up with me the day before his birthday. Yeah, he never got to see anything on his birthday. Next thing you know, I'm now in prison.
If you are a student at law school, a law professor can charge you up to $98,998.00 for one semester.
If the law professor is very late and is not punctual to teach you anything about law in his class, should a law student be able to charge the law professor a certain amount of money for not being able to teach his class because he is off task and not being punctual? Is your time precious too?
If the law professor is Polish, now you know the reason why you should never go to a law school that has a "dumb polack" for a law professor.
Sorry for your luck; it sucks to be you!
Once you've had the mother,
Don't tell me you've never been tempted to do the daughter.
How come you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
It’s hard to be a fruit, when you’re already a vegetable.
Why can you never surprise mountains?
They peak.
Why do Black people dip their Oreos in water?
Because daddy never came back home with the milk.
I don't laugh at Trump.
I was taught to NEVER make fun of the mentally handicapped.
What's the difference between milk and my dad?
Nothing, I apparently am allergic to both because I never see either of them.
There are a lot of upsides to being an orphan.
For one, you never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.
What show has something orphans will never have?
American Dad!