New Never Jokes - Page 4 - Worst Jokes Ever

Knock, knock. (Whose there?) Bill Cosby. (Bill Cosby who?) Never mind, I’ll come back when you’re sleeping.

Your mum your dad the things you never had.

I play saxophone and I like to tell everyone I am a registered s/o (short for saxophone operator) in hopes of one day starting a jazz band, but now everyone looks at me weird, and when I go to house parties to perform, everyone hides their children, but little do they know I LOVE children. For some reason I got multiple restraining orders because I said “I want to touch the kids so they can one day become musicians themselves... like Michael Jackson”, I have then since moved from my hometown to Florida where I can meet up with other s/o’s, and surprisingly they have similar stories to me, but they say they have never even touched a saxophone, but they do like touching kids, which I’m all down for, just me and my buddies showing the new youth their abilities.

Update: i figured out what they meant by s/o is not the same as my s/o :(

At what point does a joke become a dad joke? When it disappears and never returns home

Have you ever wondered why you never see a gay guy in a wheelchair

It’s hard to become a vegetable when you’re already a fruit

I asked my friend "shouldn't we have 6 senses?" he replied "what is the 6th sense?" "common sense" I shot back while looking at the kid who was going to detention" never mind" I said.

As a older brother I always gave my little sister advice. I always said to your best and never quit. So one day I went to her room I see my sister giving married me blow jobs. I ask what are you doing the married men said she is giving us blow jobs because our wives don't do it. My sister said you tole me to do your best and my best is to suck them dry. As a brother I couldn't be more prouder.

As a straight son one day I ask my mom have your ever quit in something that you did before. My mom said no I never quit in anything. So ask my when you give a blow job you ever spit, then my mom said what did I say quitters are for spitters.

What starts with S and ends with S? STUPID HOMEWORK NEVER ENDS

What starts with C and ends with K? Children do not cook.

What did you think I was going to say? How bold of you to assume.

Judge to the defendant: "Defendant, do you have a criminal record?" "No." "Have you always been honest?" "No, never been caught!"

Why do women always have sex with the lights off?

Because they never like to see a man having a good time.

What's the difference between the milkman and my dad? Nothing they are both 1 thing except he never returns with milk.

(I've been eating cereal with water COMBINATION)

I've been hit by several things in my life. Sadly, never a car.

I could never fall out a boat because I've already fallen for you.

What two fights can Africa never win? A food fight and a water fight.

My dad never came back with the milk my mom told me he's in the army

My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house. So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard, one said “ what tree?” I replied “you’ll know when you get here”

My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.