Santa's sack is big because he only comes once a year, but his sack is SO BIG after containing the lovely eggnog he has that those weigh the sleigh.
He never had kids because he comes in the chimney.
Never Jokes
And together we will make America great again.
You were never great in the first place.
Never gonna give you up.
There never was a historical Jesus Christ. Hey, do not even dream of crucifying me.
Why are orphans so skinny?
They never learned how to home cook.
Are you a building because I rate you a 9/11?
Why were the Twin Towers mad when they ordered pizza?
One arrived plain, one came in late, one went to the wrong address, and the other one never came.
Why do orphans have no sense of humor?
I guess they've never heard a dad joke.
My wife told me I could never, ever build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!
- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.
- How did the gay person die? Homicide.
- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.
- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.
- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.
- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.
- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.
Parent: My parents never attended my birthdays.
Birthday girl: Oh wow!
Parent: Anyone missing?
Birthday girl: Your parents.
My math teacher asked me what a liked term was. I told her I couldn't say, never experienced it.
Why you should never borrow money from dwarves?
Because they are always short! 😁😁😁😁
Yo hairline so far, that if you put tables on it, it would NEVER end.
Life is never hard until you get hit hard with reality.
If I were alone on an island with Camilla Cabello, and we were never going to escape, I'd rape her. I mean, what is she going to do? Tell someone?
Where can you never take an orphan to dinner?
Family restaurants.
Just buy emo grass, then you will never have to mow your lawn again.
Jonny went fishing and he didn’t know how to cast his pole, and he asked his friend Joe how to cast it. Then when he cast, he only cast 3 feet, and he never learned how to do it.
I think my dad's gay because he goes out with his mates to get milk but never returns.
What do you call a teacher who never farts in public? A private tutor.
