My dad never came back with the milk my mom told me he's in the army
My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.
So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"
I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"
My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.
What is the most noise that comes out of a ladies mouth? Nothing because they never have anything important to say.
I just wanted to say to never let go of family; they are everything. Never let anyone walk all over you. And if you are with me, like this quote.
Guys, don’t let nobody hurt you with words.
Like someone once said, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”
A note for my History Teacher:
Frick frack apple jack tic tac sick sack mr khan and give him a big fat whack cos his teaching's got lack his system i will hack and through the screen I'll give him a smack I'll throw him on the clothing rack on his seat I'll put thumb tacks i'll break his momma's back.... and he'll never come back @DreamBlue
Slow and steady wins the race...
...but it will never fix your ugly face
No matter how big the jar, there is one thing that can never fit inside it. What is it?
Why is it that the Libertarian Party never had a formal president of the united states that ran as a Libertarian that had a presidential library? Because the Libertarian Party is the party of principle, the Libertarian Party was founded in 1971 and the Libertarian Party has not won a presidential election since 1972, because the Libertarian Party doesn't believe in using force to achieved political and social goals
👏 👍👍 👌 👌 👏 🙌 💪💪😁
Stalin asked Hitler if he wants to hear a joke. Hitler says, “Yes.” Stalin then says, “Moscow.” Hitler replies with “I don’t get it?” Stalin laughs for a long time and says, “And you never will.”
Four men were asked if they could have something with their cousin for €500.
The first replied: "For 500€? Of course!"
The second said: "I'd do it for free!"
The third replied: "I would even give her 200€!"
The fourth replied: "With my ex? Never!"
I hate it when a couple has a minor quarrel, and the girlfriend updates her Facebook status to ‘single.’
I mean, I fight with my parents all the time, but I never update my status to ‘orphan.’
Why are blind people bad at catching things? Because they never see it coming.
When you see an orphanage bully, remind them that no matter how powerful they are, they will never be as strong as their dads... Oh wait, they don't have a dad.
I’m like dynamite, You’ll never know when I explode.
The kids dad was a magician because he disappeared and never came back
Why You should never poop on the floor in an apple store? Because they don`t have windows. 🤢 🤣
*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?
What do you never say to gay people?
IF YOUR HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT CLAP YOUR HANDS 🤣🤣🤣🏳️🌈
A man sees a crying woman by a pond. She is in a wheelchair and has no arms or legs.
He asks her why she is crying, and she answers that she has never been hugged. Feeling pity, he hugs her, then jogs away.
The next day, he finds her crying again, and she says she has never been kissed. The man kisses her and jogs away again.
On the third day, the man sees her crying and asks her thrice. She tells him she has never been fucked. The man picks her up and throws her in the pond, telling her, "You're fucked now!"
