Need jokes

The best news about a pretty girl with special needs is that you can get her to do exactly what you want her to do.

I mean, she probably thinks receiving oral is like 100% blood sausage coming right at her.

Texter 1: You know People treat me like a god.

Texter 2: How?

Texter 1: They ignore my existence unless they need something.

Siri is so ugly that she needs to go in the dumpster. She's so ugly that she needs to go in the toilet.

Money, money, green, green. Money is all I need, need.

Yo mama so fat when she goes to the shoe store, she needs to take their advice and get XXXXL.

Yo mama so thick, they need an aircraft carrier to take her places.

What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?

"I wish it were this color, why is it leaking there, I need help trimming the grass I mean bushes, I own it."

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Goliath.

Goliath who?

I need to Goliath down and sleep!

Why did the rapper bring a pencil to the concert?

In case he needed to drop some FRESH LINES.

Drake has too much meat. Donate to the people in need.

Your mom is so fat that when she stood on a scale, it said, "We need an actual person, not an elephant!"

"Hola, soy Dora. Do you see the cliff? Say, "backpack." Tell her that we need Amanda. While I push her off the cliff, you will not peek. Did you just peek? Close your eyes, you silly goose." The end.

Yo mama's so fat, when she wants to take a bath, they need to make more H2O.

Why don't orphans need parent approval for their wedding?

Because they never came home.

Your sister is so short, she needs to roll up her panties.

Yo mama so fat that when she took a selfie, she needed two phones.

We need to stop making orphan jokes like this because they aren’t mean enough. We need more cruel jokes.

Your hairline legit looks like the Himalayan mountain range, except you need binoculars to find it.

What do you call someone with notorious special needs and an extra chromosome?

The double trouble.

We need skinwalker jokes.