Pumpkin

Pumpkin Jokes

Carving

I know what I want to be for Halloween! A pumpkin! I'm very good at carving into myself, after all.

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  • Lamp

    What do you call a lamp that molests young boys? A Jacko Lantern!

    Emo

    What does an emo do on Halloween? They hang like a decoration.

    Cinderella

    Why couldn't Cinders use horses to pull the Pumpkin Coach?

    Because they were too busy playing stable tennis!

    Emo

    What do a jack-o-lantern and an emo have in common?

    They can both carve a new emotion.

    Candy

    On Halloween you better hide your candy, or else there will be a fella named Big Dick Randy.

    Cheetah

    Why did everyone suggest that the cheetah eat all the pumpkins?

    Because he cheated at everything!

    Anorexia

    I complimented my neighbor's skeleton decoration for Halloween, but they just told me that it's their anorexic daughter.

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  • Party

    Why did the pumpkin man not go to the party? He had his hand stuck in a treasure chest.

    Holiday

    Well, tell her that Halloween is the best holiday because you can hide Easter eggs under the Christmas tree while eating a big Thanksgiving turkey.

    Hospital

    Why can’t mental hospitals have Halloween?

    Because the patients thought the pumpkins were them. I tried.