Need jokes
Me: Why did the bus drop his ice cream?
Sanity to live: I don't know?
Me: He was run over by Timmy!!!
Sanity to live? *dies*
Me: *At edge of bridge* Wow, sweet view.
Sanity to live: *resurrected*
Narrator: Sometimes a bridge is all you need...
(sponsored by jumping bridges)
I was talking to a Muslim yesterday, and he asked me what it's like to be blind.
I happened to tell him about 20 jokes; in fact, I was working on my twentieth. So I answered with, "At least I don't have to screw in light bulbs. It's not like I need the damn things anyway."
Is it just me, or do these gays need to leave me alone?
What does cake and baseball have in common?
They both need a batter.
Who needs parents to be great?
Your mom does not need the internet. She's already worldwide.
What does a pumpkin need when it's hurt? A pumpkin patch.
I'm always willing to go down on a special needs girl.
Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.
Yo mama is so fat when she stepped on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
What did the North Tower say to the South Tower?
"Let's talk later, I need to catch a plane."
Stephen is lucky he doesn’t need a vibrator.
He’s got himself.
Need an arch? I Noah guy.
History teacher: "They had a temporary cure for the disease, but it would be years before they found a cure for life."
Student: "I need that."
Yo mama so fat, she needs 500,000 calories a day to keep her fueled.
I have special needs, and I was born with it.
I needed to take a phone call, so I went to the nearest exit. I guess you can say it was very exciting! 😂
Yo mama so fat that you need a jack stand to get her up.
Phone: YEETED.
TikTok: DELETED.
Therapy: NEEDED.
Wife: BEATED.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
'Cause 7 8 9.
But why did 7 eat 9?
'Cause you need 3 square meals a day :D
Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?
Kid: Why?
Man: 'Cause they have a family plan.
Kid: Oh, then I need to switch phone services then.
Man: Why?
Kid: I'm an orphan.
Man: *laughs out loud* That's tough!
(You can tell the joke shortened by saying, "Why can't an orphan use Verizon? 'Cause they have a family plan.")