My girlfriend treats me like God. -- She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.
What do feminists and dogs share in common? They need to be taken to obedience school.
My family is like a treasure...
You need a map and shovel to find them.
My cousin died last week he needed a blood transfusion but we didnt know his blood type he just kept saying "b positive b positive" but its hard to be positive with him gone
What do orphans need in order to mail letters? Food stamps
My future is so bright, I need a flashlight to see where I'm going.
Why did ten need a therapist? He was in between 9/11
What does NASA stand for? Need Another Seven Astronauts
Sometimes you just need to take a drive through the city to clear your head
-JFK
Why did God make pigs before politicians?
He just needed some practice
We need more women in the military! They can bleed for weeks and still not die!
Police:come with me I’m taking you home orphan:well we need to find them first
Police:then I don’t need to take you home
what did the orphan say to step mom i need help
Yes I have gained weight, I have also gained more brains, do you want some? You talk like you definitely need some more.
Why do orphans play GTA?
Because they need to know what it’s like to be wanted.
I heard you were looking for a stud. I have the STD and all i need is U
Jack and Jill went up a hill
To pick some dill
Jack slid down the hill and hurt his leg of skill
And he needed a painkiller pill
What part in the body does an adult not need but actually needs to live?
A KIDNey
Why do women have no need for umbrellas? Because it doesn't rain in the kitchen.
why can't an orphan go on a field trip? Cuz they need parent registration 😩
