My jokes
I wasn’t close to my dad when he died. It’s a good thing he stepped on a land mine.
I was stark nude. Hehe, I was. I truly and sincerely was.
The nurses giggled and said, "Joseph, why the hell is your wiener so loving?"
My penis purred and stroked their hands. I laughed and said, "I do not know."
Roses are red,
my life is a disaster,
the children are fast,
but the combine is F A S T E R!
My mom said, "Don't jump off, we need you."
I said, "No," then I jumped off a building and died.
A magic genie tells Tom, "I can make anything of yours disappear!"
Tom raises his mug and says, "Okay, get rid of my tea."
Genie: Poof!
Tom: It didn't work.
Memes
"My name is Osama, I lost my jobba, so I became a BOMBA 💣"
I saw an orphan on the street. I said, "Where are your parents?" He cried and said, "My mum and dad died in a car crash!" 😆😆😂😂🤣
Wanna touch my shirt? It's made of boyfriend/girlfriend/partner material.
My mate caught me sniffing his disabled sister's knickers the other day. It wouldn't have been so bad, but she was wearing them at the time. It made the rest of the funeral so awkward.
Don't take my posts seriously, take them like your ex took you—as a joke.
Roses are red, violets are violet,
My dad died in 9/11, he was a great pilot!
Chuck: That's my sister, mister, and I'm gonna save her!
Red: snooore, snoooore
Silver: *straining to get outta buff eagle's grip*
Chuck: *goes super sonic speed and breaks outfit*
Chuck VS RED
Both LOSE!
My Dad: Son, history always repeats itself.
Me: So you're gonna leave me again?
Me and my girlfriend broke up, and I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
I love to decorate my room because it's a great way to express your heart, though I just remembered, my room is pretty black and empty...
Your forehead is so big it blocked my phone service!
All my friends live in a forest. It's called Aokigahara.
My "friend" has dyslexia.
My sister told me words don't hurt her, so I chucked a dictionary at her.
If one of ya'll could find my weave, that'd be great!