My jokes

Last night I remember partying with friends to find blood on my nightstand.

Moments after, I scolded my friends to put my alarm clock back where they found it.

Knock knock!!

Who's there??

Dishwasher!!

Dishwasher who??

Dishwasher way i used to talk when i got my head kicked in!

Roses are red, violets are blue, Fortnite is dead, so are you.

(I have no friends because all of my friends play Fortgay, just like my friends all of them are gay.)

Spanish is difficult. When my mom gives me food, she says "toma," and that's drink in English, so I always drink my food.

My will to live.

What did one hurricane say to the other?

"I got my EYE on you!"

Chuck: That's my sister, mister, and I'm gonna save her!

Red: snooore, snoooore

Silver: *straining to get outta buff eagle's grip*

Chuck: *goes super sonic speed and breaks outfit*

Chuck VS RED

Both LOSE!

"My name is Osama, I lost my jobba, so I became a BOMBA 💣"

I saw an orphan on the street. I said, "Where are your parents?" He cried and said, "My mum and dad died in a car crash!" 😆😆😂😂🤣

Wanna touch my shirt? It's made of boyfriend/girlfriend/partner material.

All my friends live in a forest. It's called Aokigahara.

My Dad: Son, history always repeats itself.

Me: So you're gonna leave me again?

My "friend" has dyslexia.

My mate caught me sniffing his disabled sister's knickers the other day. It wouldn't have been so bad, but she was wearing them at the time. It made the rest of the funeral so awkward.

Me and my girlfriend broke up, and I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

Don't take my posts seriously, take them like your ex took you—as a joke.

Roses are red, violets are violet,

My dad died in 9/11, he was a great pilot!

The doctor told me my temperature was exactly 98.6 degrees. I felt relieved until he said, “Celsius.”

I ordered my sandwich at a restaurant on 9/11 spicy, it came out plain.

If one of ya'll could find my weave, that'd be great!