My jokes

Don't take my posts seriously, take them like your ex took you—as a joke.

Roses are red, violets are violet,

My dad died in 9/11, he was a great pilot!

Chuck: That's my sister, mister, and I'm gonna save her!

Red: snooore, snoooore

Silver: *straining to get outta buff eagle's grip*

Chuck: *goes super sonic speed and breaks outfit*

Chuck VS RED

Both LOSE!

My Dad: Son, history always repeats itself.

Me: So you're gonna leave me again?

Me and my girlfriend broke up, and I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

I love to decorate my room because it's a great way to express your heart, though I just remembered, my room is pretty black and empty...

Your forehead is so big it blocked my phone service!

All my friends live in a forest. It's called Aokigahara.

My "friend" has dyslexia.

My sister told me words don't hurt her, so I chucked a dictionary at her.

If one of ya'll could find my weave, that'd be great!

My mom told me we were flying to a building to see my aunt. I wondered, "Are we about to relive 9/11?"

1. Are you talking to me because I think you talked to my backside?

2. Your mom must taste good because it is always in your mouth.

3. My foot lasts longer than your life.

If an old person tells you what to do just say, "At least my parents are alive!"

I tried to name my grass "emo" so it will cut itself.

I love my mom.

I asked Stephen if he was an organ donor, and he said why.

I said, "That's a shame. I need parts for my go-cart."

I was raised as an only child.

Which really annoyed my twin sister.

My dog once went to Uranus. 🐶🤣🤣🤣

You know, because dogs sniff Uranus? 😂😂😂

I wish my lawn was emo so it would cut itself.