My jokes

My mom told me we were flying to a building to see my aunt. I wondered, "Are we about to relive 9/11?"

1. Are you talking to me because I think you talked to my backside?

2. Your mom must taste good because it is always in your mouth.

3. My foot lasts longer than your life.

If an old person tells you what to do just say, "At least my parents are alive!"

I tried to name my grass "emo" so it will cut itself.

I love my mom.

I asked Stephen if he was an organ donor, and he said why.

I said, "That's a shame. I need parts for my go-cart."

I was raised as an only child.

Which really annoyed my twin sister.

My dog once went to Uranus. 🐶🤣🤣🤣

You know, because dogs sniff Uranus? 😂😂😂

I wish my lawn was emo so it would cut itself.

My friend that used to be married was making jokes about me being short. Then I told him, "Your marriage was so short it made me look like Shaquille O'Neal."

Me and my suicidal friend are close, so I took him to the mall to treat him.

We bought snacks, a new controller for his Xbox, and LED lights for his room to hopefully brighten his mood. After we scanned the last item, the machine beeped by itself.

My friend Harry.

I went to ask my friend's mom if I could have a sleepover.

Then I remembered they did not have a mom or dad.

My wife said she would slam my head into my keyboard if I did not get off video games.

But don't worry I think she was just joking.

I ate my mom.

L bozos fell like my grandma on the stairs.

I was lip to lip yesterday, and now I can't get the cum out of my mouth.

My BALLS itched when I crashed the plane.

I took the trash to the recycling bin, and two days later, my mom asked me, "Where's your sister?" I said, "In the recycling line to be turned into a bottle."

You're so skinny my grandma gonna use you like a cane.