My jokes
I saw an orphan on the street. I said, "Where are your parents?" He cried and said, "My mum and dad died in a car crash!" 😆😆😂😂🤣
Wanna touch my shirt? It's made of boyfriend/girlfriend/partner material.
Chuck: That's my sister, mister, and I'm gonna save her!
Red: snooore, snoooore
Silver: *straining to get outta buff eagle's grip*
Chuck: *goes super sonic speed and breaks outfit*
Chuck VS RED
Both LOSE!
My "friend" has dyslexia.
Don't take my posts seriously, take them like your ex took you—as a joke.
Memes
Roses are red, violets are violet,
My dad died in 9/11, he was a great pilot!
All my friends live in a forest. It's called Aokigahara.
I love to decorate my room because it's a great way to express your heart, though I just remembered, my room is pretty black and empty...
Your forehead is so big it blocked my phone service!
Roses are red.
I have free candy. Get in my van. I have free candy!
Would you like to win 100k?
Comment on my next video for a chance to win!
Guy 1: "Stop looking at my ass!" Guy 2: "I said look at Uranus." Guy 1: "I'm looking at uranus!" Guy 2: "I said Uranus like the planet!" Guy 1: "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"
My dad left me, lol.
My gamer tag is TheBigAut.
So I suggested to my wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back...
Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.
My grandfather told me I’m too reliant on technology, so I unplugged his life support and called him a hypocrite. I doubt he ever said that to anyone ever again.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Your mom." "Your mom who?" "It's not your mom, it's my mom!"
1. Are you talking to me because I think you talked to my backside?
2. Your mom must taste good because it is always in your mouth.
3. My foot lasts longer than your life.
One day when I was driving around our children's school with my wife, she saw a speed bump. She told me to slow on it, and when I did, we heard a loud, long scream.
What's the difference between my dad and Nemo?
I don't know. I still haven't found them.