My Jokes

What do you call 2 emos making out in a science classroom?

My Chemical Romance.

The smartest kid in my class says "is-land" instead of "island."

My job is so amazing.

Today a man asked me to check his balance, so I pushed him over. His balance isn't good.

Why did Stephan Hawking not turn up to the meeting?

His internet connection ran out.

Three men walk into a bar. The 1st says, "Hey, how's it going?" The 2nd one says, "Great!" But then the 3rd man says, "Hello, where did my wife go? I swear she was just here!" What happened to the 3rd guy's wife?

Question and answer 🙄

A cartoon drawing shows a mother standing at a door, asking her son where he is going. The son, with a backpack, sarcastically replies that he is going to heaven, since he is clearly in his school uniform.

Why is Daisy afraid of candles?

Watch my videos and find out!!! 🤸‍♀️🕯📷💰😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈

I named my grass emo, and it cut itself.

What do you call two emos in a chemistry lab?

My Chemical Romance.

Spring is here, I got so excited, I wet my plants!

My joke is your life support getting unplugged because my phone is about to die.

What does your dad's cock and Darryl's Savouries have in common?

I want them both in my mouth!

It's so cold, I mist bring my jacket.

What does a pirate say to the president?? Spread your legs so I can get my treasure back.

I wanted to hire a butler for my new mansion in downtown LA. As he arrived, he introduced himself and I discovered it was Ghostionel Pessi.

I asked him why is he working as a butler? He told me that “a big game is coming up so he needs to refine his bottleling skills.” DAMN PESSI!

Anybody remember 9/11? Cause I sure do, and oh boy was my father a good pilot!💥

The only food I want to review is my wife's rear end.

When you're so rich that you can buy anything, you end up getting a cow in your living room. Yeah, anyways, my ex is still in my living room.

Aaaah, I really wish Stephen Hawking was an organ donor...

I really need some new parts to my go-kart.

When I was 11, my mom came home from the bar super drunk that night, and I just wanted to know if they knew where the cat was because I heard a noise. We had a loooooooong talk the next morning.