My jokes

"We got a number one victory royale, yeah Fortnite we boutta get down! Get down! Ten kills on the board right now, just wiped out tomato town! My friend's gone down, I revived him now we're heading southbound! Now we're in the pleasant park street, look at the map, go to the marked sheet!"

I am Wayde, I like ranga balls, please cum in my ass.

Two pedophiles are on a beach.

One says to the other, "Move over, you're in my sun!"

A teacher says to her class one day, "Whoever answers my next question can go home."

A boy throws his bag out the window.

The teacher asks, "Who just threw that?"

The boy says, "Me! I'm going home now."

My dick said that your ass is having a boner.

Hannes asks his mother, "Mom, why are the peanuts called peanuts?" Mom replies, "Because they grow in the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why don't strawberries grow in the earth?" Mom replies: "The giraffes originally had a short neck, but it has grown from giraffe to giraffe. The same thing happened with the strawberries. They grew in the earth and grew higher from harvest to harvest until at some point their stems protruded from the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why is my neck so short?" The mother replies: "So many people died in the First and Second World Wars that our necks could not develop at all. It was the same in the Thirty Years' War. We humans have been in so many wars. The giraffes in none and that's why our neck is so short."

Sometimes, I think back on all the mistakes I've ever made.

Then I realize, "My daughter isn't THAT bad..."

My mom is bad and my dad is bad.

My wife called me a pedophile. That is a big word for a 2 year old.

I wish my hair was depressed.

Cause then it would cut itself.

I was once playing the bottle flip challenge on the school table with my friend, and when it was his turn, the bottle fell to his eggplant! 😱😂

"I hate when people make 9/11 jokes because my grandfather died during the Twin Tower attacks. He was the best pilot in Saudi Arabia."

I was playing Mortal Kombat with my friend when he picked the fighter Pristiano Penaldo. I won and the voice didn't say "Finish him," so I couldn't do a fatality.

I was confused, but I understood that the game didn't let me finish him because he is already finished.

My best friend ran away with my wife. I really miss him.

How do you turn a straight guy into a gay guy? Well... for starts, you grab that ass of his, drag him into the bathroom, and tell him to suck my long, big pineapple, and thus, you have yourself one straight guy converted into a dick-sucking machine.

I took my pony to the vet because I thought he was making a funny noise when he neighed. The vet said everything was okay and he was just a little horse.

What is red and looks like a zebra?

My arm. Hehhehehehe UwU

I've got a job defusing landmines.

It's difficult, but hopefully soon I'll find my feet.

Stormtrooper: What should I do with this guide for my test?

Palpatine: Review it.

I like my women like I like my wine. 16 and locked in my in a basement.