My jokes

I was on the Official Cristiano Ronaldo website when suddenly my Anti-Virus software showed an alert on my screen! The notification read "WARNING: FRAUD DETECTED!" I was shocked but not surprised.

Penaldo has been finished for years after all, and he often ghosts in big games.

How it be when the new guy takes too long...

Hay Danny, it's me Johnny.

Johnny: Boss says to kill the guy in red. Point the gun at his head.

Danny: Ok, target locked. 3... 2... 1... bang.

Johnny: Danny, hope you did not get the man in red.

Danny: OH MY BRO FOR REALL.

Me, an orphan: *laughing at orphan jokes*

Some person: Stop laughing, it's sad to laugh at your pain.

Me, an orphan: That's the funny part, what am I going to do, tell my parents?

To the guy in a wheelchair who stole my camouflage coat: you can hide, but you can't run.

If Will Smith had a revolver and said, "Who fucked my wife?" Chris Rock would say, "You don't have enough bullets, mate."

My doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 15. Problem solved!

This is fucked up, my name is Shaylie.

"Fortnite battlepass, I just shit out my ass."

Fortnite, Fortnite, did I mention Fortnite, Fortnite, Fortnite?

Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy.

You wouldn’t believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.

You know they're lying when they say, "My mom's picking me up."

Son: Dad, I'm gay.

Dad: I support you.

Son: I like you.

Dad: Get out and into my room!

Depression: Here, your mom just died.

Me: My mom is already dead.

Join my beta communication community committee commission Cumbria, please guys and girls and gurls. It's all inclusive b&b.

I bet my friend $5 that he would drown in the lake.

... It was a bittersweet victory.

Guys, can we change pride month to another month, please? My birthday is in June, and I'm not gay, and my friends keep making fun of me. I think we should change it to March because my brother's birthday is in March, and that'd be funny.

I had to go to my friend's house.

I went in her basement and I saw taped mouths that are KIDS in the basement... Is my friend OK???

What’s the favorite song of someone with an Oedipus Complex?

“My Mommy Comes Back”

My sister told me she liked Medusa.

I said, "Huh?"

My sister said my blow jobs are so good she looks up at the guy's facial expression, and when they look down, they do nothing but stay still.

My mom bought me a car, and she called me an ungrateful b*tch because I sat in my wheelchair the whole time.

Man, my brother has a tight, buttered butthole. The veins in my cock throb when he comes over!