My jokes

I just did a test to see who my soulmate is, and it said "best friend." So I guess I am gay. I think so, WTF.

Bianca: Mr. Doeken, even though I completed my test, you still said it was "late." Why is that?

Mr. Dowon: Bianca, for the LAST TIME, MY LAST NAME IS DOWON!

Bianca (🤨): Are you sure?

Mr. Dowon (😒): What do you need, Bianca?

Bianca: It's Bianca!

Mr. Dowon: Are you sure?

My friend said that his book was getting boring and that he's gonna kill off some characters.

I asked him what his book was about and he said, "Oh, it's an autobiography."

Orphan: My mommy and daddy love me.

Guy: Where are they then?

Orphan: In the eternal depths of [hell].

I wish my grass was emo, so then it could cut itself.

I named my dog Stone so that I can say to people that I throw stones every day.

Amelia is hotter than my mum 696969696.

If wishes were horses, Beggars would ride.

If turnips were watches, I would wear one by my side.

And if if's and an's were pots and pans, The tinker would never work!

Ahaha, I'm laughing because my friend is so black his mama killed the clown.

I have to say that Halloween is my favorite day...

Every time they see me, kids and mothers run away...

I don’t have a costume so please don’t reprimand...

When I open up the door, I’ve got my penis in my hand.

My mates threw nuts at the wall, now we call them walnuts.

Hahaha :)

There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7.

When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the "bright side" of it.

She said, "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome!"

54 students died that day.

My jokes are pretty "bone-arifick," if I say so myself. Hehhehe... Get it?

One day I asked my mom where kids came from. She said the man who went to the milk store.

Five years later, he came back and left again.

Husband: Hey, my dear, this lunch is great. Where did you find the recipe?

Wife: In a detective novel.

Hello, I'm C-3PO. And this is my brother, WD-40.

My parents said they had to make a lot of sacrifices in order to pay for my education.

They were both druids.

Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, "Parking Fine!"

I would like to tell you the name of a song I showed my friend who was on LSD. "I See a Dreamer."

I heard World War 50000000 in my parent's room.