My jokes

Bianca: Mr. Doeken, even though I completed my test, you still said it was "late." Why is that?

Mr. Dowon: Bianca, for the LAST TIME, MY LAST NAME IS DOWON!

Bianca (🤨): Are you sure?

Mr. Dowon (😒): What do you need, Bianca?

Bianca: It's Bianca!

Mr. Dowon: Are you sure?

Orphan: My mommy and daddy love me.

Guy: Where are they then?

Orphan: In the eternal depths of [hell].

My girlfriend was cheating in Uno.

She's not the only one who can play that game.

I was digging and found some gold. I was going to tell my mom, then I remembered why I was digging.

I stood in front of the mirror. "Joseph, I will love and protect you forever," my dick cooed. I looked down at it, a single crystalline tear sliding down my face. I was at peace.

Hi my sweet friends! This is for everyone who needs help right now :)

My ex was so full of shit, she probably poured toilet cleaner in her nose to get relief.

To Tina: Hi, love, you're my oldest and dearest friend. I will love you for as long as I live. I luvv you so much, my sweetest, dearest darling.

How on God's green earth does my boyfriend have a phone?

JK WE NEED TO TALK ILL TYPE THE SECRET CODE (YOU'LL KNOW WHAT IT MEANS.) GREEN PUSSY CAT LIKES BANNANS.

My grandpa has the heart of a lion,

and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

On this website, I just searched up "My jokes". In response, it said, "No jokes found." Wth.

Who wants to be my boyfriend?

My friend said that his book was getting boring and that he's gonna kill off some characters.

I asked him what his book was about and he said, "Oh, it's an autobiography."

I wish my grass was emo, so then it could cut itself.

I named my dog Stone so that I can say to people that I throw stones every day.

I named my cousin's parrot Michell, and then I started to call Mikey "Mikey", right? I'm starting to teach my cousin Sammy how to say "Mikey Mikey" and he says "mekiy meiky" 😆

Roses are red, grass is greener.

When I think of you, I play with my weiner.

Are you my friend?

Because I would make you more than that.

My friend nearly drowned in her bowl of muesli the other day. She was pulled in by a strong "currant."

My jokes are pretty "bone-arifick," if I say so myself. Hehhehe... Get it?