My jokes
One day I asked my mom where kids came from. She said the man who went to the milk store.
Five years later, he came back and left again.
Husband: Hey, my dear, this lunch is great. Where did you find the recipe?
Wife: In a detective novel.
There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7.
When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the "bright side" of it.
She said, "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome!"
54 students died that day.
The other day my girlfriend asked me to hand her the red lipstick, so I handed her the dog.
My friend is so short, whenever I dance with her, it’s like dancing with a golf tee.
I love my dog and all dogs.
A teacher says to her class one day, "Whoever answers my next question can go home."
A boy throws his bag out the window.
The teacher asks, "Who just threw that?"
The boy says, "Me! I’m going home now."
My jokes are pretty "bone-arifick," if I say so myself. Hehhehe... Get it?
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor!"
My dignity to live.
I like my dynamite like I like my woman: hot and ready to explode.
"Don't sneeze!"
Every time I was in the bathroom with my friends, I would always tell them, "Don't sneeze!" and when I did, they just laughed so hard. And when we sneezed, we laughed even harder.
Also,
"It dangles and swung!"
Language art quizzes are the best.
I was just informed that my ex was stabbed yesterday. Let's just say I quit my job as a butcher.
My family.
Stormtrooper: What should I do with this guide for my test?
Palpatine: Review it.
So I was visiting my friends Timmy and Tommy at the phone store and I said, "A. T&T!"
Your mom: Your plate is full, that's enough food on your plate.
Me: My plate is not full, I still see the white of the plate.
Stephanie is my name.
I love my name.
Why can’t I drive? 'Cuz my dad never showed me how, yet.