My jokes

My son is so ungrateful. I bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.

I have a lot of money, but I don't waste it.

So people call me poor until they see my bank account.

What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, it just waved. I hate my life.

You go h dichotomy lol what do you want to what what’s the name for the address for sure what’s what I name it says I name it lol I don’t o I have to get r CB n nu set set e Okay okay I’ll be at my place.

I've decided to marry a pencil. I can't wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B.

My friends were worried that I was making suicide jokes so much, so I said, "Don't worry, you won't have to hear them much longer."

Me: I’m going to get burrito 🌯

Friend: You can have my burrito baby.

Gay.

Friend: *begins to moan*

Me: Finna hang up.

I woke up one day to find handcuffs on my bed. Turns out, the girl I drugged yesterday escaped.

I got my sister a trampoline for her birthday, but she won’t get out of her wheelchair and use it.

I asked this kid for a high five, but he could not reach my hand.

My friend is gay lol. I'm a spagetie fucc, lemme smash, Becky!

I was at a concert in the front row, and I shouted something to the band's guitarist. He took it the wrong way and responded: "I'm going to go down there and hit you with my guitar!"

And I replied: "Is that a death fret?"

I'm sorry, orphans, that you're getting bullied. Oh, I have to go, my MOM's calling me. We're going on a road trip to go to a FAMILY reunion!

I was looking for my sister... I looked down at my feet and saw her.

My mom said, "Take out the trash," and I said, "Okay." The next day she asked, "Where is your sister?" and I said, "In line to get crushed."

Today was the worst day ever. My ex got hit by a truck... On the plus side, my truck doesn't even have a dent.

Here’s another joke my friend told me.

What did the school shooter do when the librarian told him to be quiet? Pulled out a silencer.

"You have to do this," and my sister said, "Well, I don't care."

And I said, "Well, you care enough to respond back, oh my gosh!"

What's the quickest way to get to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.

What do you do after raping a deaf person? Cut their fingers off so they don't tell anyone.

MORE JOKES COMING SOON LMAO ;]

I thought I had the best K/D ratio in my fighter jet on Battlefield, then I heard about Mohammed Atta.