My jokes

Deku: Hey Todoroki, are you done with your Halloween costume?

Todoroki: Yes. *comes out in a macaroni outfit*

Deku: Wha- I'm todoroni.

Bakugo: OMFG, I'm out! *blows up UA*

I have to say that Halloween is my favorite day...

Every time they see me, kids and mothers run away...

I don’t have a costume so please don’t reprimand...

When I open up the door, I’ve got my penis in my hand.

Amelia is hotter than my mum 696969696.

I can't believe what just happened. I was at the bowling alley having a great time with my girlfriend when suddenly a man took all of our bowling pins! I asked him why and he said he needed more tapins to keep his career relevant. I instantly realized it was Penaldo!

My dogs pooped in my shoes? Pooper.

My mates threw nuts at the wall, now we call them walnuts.

Hahaha :)

Ahaha, I'm laughing because my friend is so black his mama killed the clown.

If wishes were horses, Beggars would ride.

If turnips were watches, I would wear one by my side.

And if if's and an's were pots and pans, The tinker would never work!

Question: Why does my teenage brother wear a cape to bed?

Answer: Because he can't sleep in his race car bed...

My therapist told me time heals wounds, so I stabbed him, and now we wait.

My son's into astromancy asked me how do stars die, so I told him, "Usually on overdose, son."

My friend has glasses, and we were talking about owls, and I told my friend to give an owl glasses. I told my friend that it'd be a spectacled owl!

My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. But, unfortunately, it just made her more upset.

She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”

I caught my wife this morning gazing at our marriage license of long ago that hangs upon our wall with tears in her eye!

Almost got teary eyed myself until she told me she was only looking for the expiration date!

For jokes, search my YouTube channel: Knowledge with arslan.

I found a key that works for every door at my school.

So I went to my friend's house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out. I don't like visitors.

Lady: "Can I lick your balls?"

Me: "Ummmmm, ok?"

Lady: *grabs ball sack and licks my balls*

Me: "I'm gonna have to clean these now!"

Lady: "Let me do that."

Me: "No, thank you! I have to use these baseballs for practice!"

One day, I was walking through a park when I realized it was crowded.

To this day, I still don't know who let the children out of my basement.

For Charlie D'Amelio fans, my basement is your home now. Leave a like if you agree with me.