Walnut jokes

I nutted on the wall, call that a walnut.

Broccoli says, "I look like a tree."

Walnut says, "I look like a brain."

Cashew says, "I look like a kidney."

Banana says, "Can we change the topic please?"

What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts.

What do you call nuts on the wall? Walnuts.

What do you call nuts on your chin? A blowjob.

I have no problem getting dates online. I’ve also had luck with almonds, cashews, and walnuts.

I have an announcement, Shadow the Hedgehog is a bitch ass motherfucker. He pissed on my fucking wife and he said he dick was this big and I said that's disgusting, so I'm making a callout post on my twitter dot com. Shadow, u got a small dick it looks like this walnut except way smaller.

Who loves walnut? Wallace!

Did you hear the one about the pecan, the walnut, and the cashew?

It was nut funny.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Cash.

Cash who?

No thanks, I prefer walnuts!

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Walnut. Walnut who? I walnut tell you. It’s a secret.

Your secret is safe with me. I walnut tell a soul.

Every one is talking about glory holes, so I decided to look into one.

I was doing renovations on a house and found a wall with a glory hole. I was going to remodel it, but it's load bearing. I asked a gay carpenter how to fix this, and he advised that I check out the studs first to make sure they were uncut.

Eventually, I gave up and just put my nuts through the hole. Now they're walnuts.

What did the mama nut say to her son?

“If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.”

In school, we learned that squirrels stick their nuts in trees. So, just like my uncle Dave...

I bought a guh on the weekend.

(what's a guh?)

GUHZZLE DEEZ NUTS! 🥜 🔩 🌰