My jokes

When I get jokes. They aren't f****** restarted like you.

My sister.

"Hola soy Dora, do you see Donald Trump? That’s right, he’s at my house, and he’s building a wall to separate me and Caillou. And Mami won’t let him, so she was walled alive!"

What do you call my friends?...

Short.

I stole my friend's amnesia medication the other day, he was pretty pissed.

But I reminded him of the age-old mantra: "Forgive and forget!"

You know what's the difference between my basement and Chick-fil-A?

A lot of things.

After I see an anime boy acting cool,

Me at school acting cool:

My brothers: "He's just acting cool."

Me: I'm gonna kill u 0.0

I hate my stupid wrinkly ring doing f, dad!

If I had kept all my two cents to myself, I'd have enough money to publish my own newspaper now.

What's the difference between a boomerang and my dad?

The boomerang comes back.

I can't have my Oreos 😭 Why?

My dad still hasn't came back with that God damn milk.

Once my twin brother died from a plane crash. His last words were, "If it's a bomb, I'll give it a 9/11."

I was going to tell a joke I made up about my vacuum cleaner, but it sucks.

My favorite novel is "The Hunchback of Notre Dame".

I love a protagonist with a twisted back story.

My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.

Guess who came crawling back? Sadly, the hardest part to eat of the vegetable is the wheelchair.

My dad died in 9/11. He was the best pilot I have ever seen, though.

When a person in a wheelchair says, "You've never taken a step in my shoes," and you say, "To be honest, you haven't either."

My sister and a basketball got certain things in common.

My sister's tits and ass are bouncy like a basketball.

What’s the best part of fucking Noor’s vulva (btw Noor is black)? If my dick is right beside Mara’s vulva (btw Mara’s white and so am I).

I made a playlist for hiking. It has music from Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem.

I call it my trail mix.

My friend said that gay people existed 10 years ago.

He can tell the future.