My jokes

I heard World War 50000000 in my parent's room.

I'd tell you a joke about my boyfriend's dick, but it's a private joke.

My chocolate babe is calling my name, and now I'm about to get my chocolate freak on.

This morning I woke up, then took a bath with some chocolate mud. At first, when I turned the damn flossers on, I noticed it wasn't water. It was all chocolate mud, and now my body is all chocolatey.

One day I asked my mom where kids came from. She said the man who went to the milk store.

Five years later, he came back and left again.

Husband: Hey, my dear, this lunch is great. Where did you find the recipe?

Wife: In a detective novel.

There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7.

When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the "bright side" of it.

She said, "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome!"

54 students died that day.

The other day my girlfriend asked me to hand her the red lipstick, so I handed her the dog.

I have fun with my friends.

Stephanie is my name.

I love my name.

Why can’t I drive? 'Cuz my dad never showed me how, yet.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

"Where's my tractor!"

While I was walking on the road, a cat crossed my road, and 5 min later I found it fell in the gutter.

Q: What's the similarity between a dog and a bed?

A: I can jump on my bed. A: And I use a pillow on both of them.

There is a similarity between my wallet and an onion.

They always make me cry.

Hey Autocorrect- STOP TAMPERING WITH MY CURSE WORDS YOU MOTHERDUCKING FORKLIFT!

So I walk into Orchids Of Asia. I come out three minutes later with the best massage of my life. What's the catch? Aye, there, matey, the catch of the day be crabs.

My family.

I lost my job making storage units for the police after a week. I guess you could say it was a brief case.