My jokes

All my 9/11 jokes seem to fly too low.

I was in math class when my teacher gave us homework, and she said to me, "You're gonna get an F this time." So I went back home, and f**k my teacher.

My teacher says no phones allowed. I say my phone is allowed because I’m nobody, Dania.

I told my friend you should definitely quit smoking, but he could not find me because he was already up in flames.

My girlfriend is growing watermelons, not in the ground though (we had fun that night)!

For 9/11, I decided to bomb my twins.

Jacob likes fucking me and my mom.

I broke up with my emo girlfriend yesterday, look who came crawling back!

What should I sell my dragon for?

Dragon these balls across yo face!

Teacher told me to turn in my essay, but I ain't no snitch, fool.

A man is on his deathbed in prison by electric chair.

The man who controls the chair asks for any last words.

The prisoner replies with: “Can you hold my hand?”

I'm always forgetting these kinds of jokes. I also forgot my son's name.

Q: What is the worst thing to hear your surgeon say?

A: Oops, I dropped my lollipop!

My friend playing truth or dare asked me: "Dare".

My friends: "I dare you to go home."

I want some cheeseburgers just to eat. I'm talkin' ketchup. My n***a mustard on that BEAT!

I had morning wood one day. Then my sister saw it and said, "I can help!"

Teacher's pen is RED, our pen is BLUE, she is marking an EGG on my marksheet, left with questions and no CLUE.

My grief counselor died the other day.

He was so good at his job, I don't even care.

My dad died in 9/11... He was the best pilot I know.

What’s the difference between a pile of babies and a Tesla?

I don’t have a Tesla in my garage.