My jokes

Hi my sweet friends! This is for everyone who needs help right now :)

I have to say that Halloween is my favorite day...

Every time they see me, kids and mothers run away...

I don’t have a costume so please don’t reprimand...

When I open up the door, I’ve got my penis in my hand.

I was digging and found some gold. I was going to tell my mom, then I remembered why I was digging.

What did the bull say when got hit in the special area? "Damn my bulls!" Ahahaha

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I'm sorry.

Overall, I'd say my career as a photographer has been a bit of a blur.

Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, "Parking Fine!"

I would like to tell you the name of a song I showed my friend who was on LSD. "I See a Dreamer."

I heard World War 50000000 in my parent's room.

My doctor said I could have up to 20 units a week. But now I've eaten half of my kitchen.

Hello, I'm C-3PO. And this is my brother, WD-40.

My parents said they had to make a lot of sacrifices in order to pay for my education.

They were both druids.

I would like to tell you the name of a song I showed to my friend who had an overdose of LSD.

I see a dreamer.

I was at a concert in the front row, and I shouted something to the band's guitarist. He took it the wrong way and responded: "I'm going to go down there and hit you with my guitar!"

And I replied: "Is that a death fret?"

Your mamma is so fat that she saved me a lot of money by sitting in my car when I wanted to buy a low rider.

My mom told me to unplug all the electronics, so I unplugged my grandma's life support.

My dad went to school saying dad jokes. I was embarrassed and I cried with a-dult cry.

I'd tell you a joke about my boyfriend's dick, but it's a private joke.

My chocolate babe is calling my name, and now I'm about to get my chocolate freak on.

My friend nearly drowned in her bowl of muesli the other day. She was pulled in by a strong "currant."