During Halloween, my friend went as a skeleton.
He refused to go into the haunted house. Looks like he was SPINE-LESS.
My Jokes
Why don’t I shut myself all the time?
I can only fit so many pairs of kids in my mouth and stomach at the same time.
Are you acid, cause I want to throw [you] at my face?
You go h dichotomy lol what do you want to what what’s the name for the address for sure what’s what I name it says I name it lol I don’t o I have to get r CB n nu set set e Okay okay I’ll be at my place.
Why do orphans like boomerangs more than their parents? The boomerang comes back.
One day I saw a kid cry, so I go, "Let's go find your parents." I miss my job at the orphanage.
Why do orphans get lost on boats? They can't find the home room.
Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.
That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.
What's the difference between a dead body and a Lamborghini?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
My son asked for a swimming pool so I got him a ant 🐜🐜🐜 pool.
My 1 year old nephew had a stroke. I know, sounds bad... but he would have needed to learn how to speak and walk anyways.
The sexy towers are just like my sexy toes because when I crashed a plane into the tower, it burned and bled.
My girlfriend is growing watermelons, not in the ground though (we had fun that night)!
For 9/11, I decided to bomb my twins.
It's not nice to make 9/11 jokes. My uncle died in 9/11...
He was one of al qaeda's best pilots.
What's the difference between an orgy and mass suicide?
When exactly my cult members drink the Kool-Aid.
My friend said he saw a blind man. I said, "Did he LOOK nice?"
Your hairline is so far back my dad even took 48 hours to reach it.
I took a plane to go see my hairline.
I try and try every day, but 5 keep coming out. There's so money at this point my walls are built of babies.
I got fired from my job at the bank today.
An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
I wish my grass was emo, it would cut itself.
