My jokes

My syndrome may be down, but my money be up 😈.

When my dad once went to the Virgin Islands, now it's just called the Islands.

My aunt’s star sign is Cancer, so it’s pretty ironic how she died. She was eaten alive by a giant freaking crab!

So my friend and I went camping at a Cold Lake Campground and he jumped into it without any warning, and so I asked him, "Wat-er you doing?"

Shorkey will find you in bed tonight, and he will eat you like my joke or else...

What's the difference between my ripped jeans and my arms?.

None.

My uncle named his dogs Timex and Rolex. They're his watch dogs.

I was going to give my wife chocolates, but my fat friends ate them.

Wife: "You don't even have friends!"

Guys, these jokes are not funny. My dad died, he was the best Arabic pilot ever.

"Where are my balls? Down in your mom."

My ex.

When someone said to an orphan, "My boyfriend ghosted me," the orphan says back, "Don't worry, my parents ghosted me!" 🤣

What do you call two men fucking? My dad and I. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

What is soccer like when you lose your soccer ball?

Orphan: "My Parents."

When I was 17, my mom’s door was always locked. I wonder what she was doing.

Me at an orphanage: I need to talk.

Orphan: My parents!

Me: You know that word?

Me: What's the difference between me and my grandpa?

Friends: What?

Me: I've been alive for the past 14 years.

Little Johnny is my son, and he got hit by a semi-truck owned by a Russian. Now I am on my way on a nuclear submarine with a Burger King Whopper to Moscow, then take revenge for little Johnny!

Gays are always welcome on my Redneck Party Bus. NOT!

My Dad pays a lot of attention to our household and has always had a good eye for detail. He was the one that first noticed that my mother and I have the same ring size.