My jokes

Alphabet

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N. Oh my gosh, I'm peeing on my shoe, no one knows about it yet!

Baby

My mom asked my doctor, "Why is my unvaccinated baby crying?"

The doctor replied, "He's going through a midlife crisis."

Piece

I wrote puns on a piece of paper like this:

P. P. P. P. U. U. U. U. N. N. N. N. S. S. S. S.

Then I showed them to my teacher, asking him what they had in common.

“They are all very tearable,” he replied.

Well, there is one person who gets it!

Memes

Haircut

A Scotsman at the hairdresser: "How much is a haircut?"

"Six pounds."

"And shaving?"

"Three pounds."

"Good, then shave my head."

Rape

My wife said if I rape her again, she would leave me. Why didn't anyone tell me it was that easy?

Comment

You guys, this is my last time publishing something here. You guys have been sending rude comments, and I need to work on my mental health. Goodbye.

Rip-off

"I've only been ripped off twice in my life. The first time was when I ordered three kebabs and they only delivered two. The second time was when we signed Cristiano Ronaldo."

-Al Nassr owner

Food

I ate the last of my Egyptian food, and now I falafel. I don't know why I made that joke. Probably just becuscus.

Water

My friend: What are you doing?

Me: I'm making holy water.

My friend: How?

Me: I'm boiling the hell out of it.

Egg Yolk

Aren't my egg yolks amazing? Don't they make you crack up? If not, I better scramble!

Kitchen

My kitchen was rearranged today. The tables have turned, and the steaks are higher.

Sun

I followed the sun for a day (stood there at noon). I found myself at the same spot.