My jokes

Jacob likes fucking me and my mom.

What does the plane that hit the Twin Towers and milk have in common?

My dad went to get both and never came back.

What's the difference between an orgy and mass suicide?

When exactly my cult members drink the Kool-Aid.

Now I know what my priest meant by the second coming!

Last night I shared a bed with two of my friends because we were in a small hotel. We had strange dreams last night.

My friend on the left dreamed of getting a handjob.

So did my friend on the right.

I had a dream of skiing.

I ran into a kid today. Now I'm in jail and I lost my driver's license.

I got these two people in my class we call them Twin Towers, so when I heard about it I threw a paper airplane at them.

I wish my grass was emo so it would cut itself.

My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me.

"She obviously has COVID," my wife said.

"Why?" I asked.

My wife replied with a sneer, "Because she has no taste!"

My heart broke as I went down the stairs, and my girlfriend broke her heart.

Your hairline is so far back that I can't even back out of my car.

Thanks to the voice who keeps telling me to let go,

he is my only motivation for trying again.

All these 9/11 jokes need to stop.

My uncle died in 9/11. At least he died doing what he loves: flying planes.

When I dunk my cookies in milk, I think of you. I hold them down until the bubbles stop.

My friend Enyaw is gay, she is a cunt.

I wish my grass was emo because then it would cut itself.

All my 9/11 jokes seem to fly too low.

I look at an orphanage, then hug my mum. He just looks sad and crude because he couldn’t find his mum.

An orphan boy at my school did really bad in a test and started crying.

I said, “Don’t worry, your parents won’t say anything.”

My ex was an orphan as a child.

I should have taken that as the first sign.

If her parents didn’t want her, why would I?