My jokes

I call my penis the truth because the truth always comes out of children’s mouths.

I will never forget the moment when my father saw me masturbating. He said, "Son, what are you doing? I'm on a video conference - get out of my office!"

My cousin just broke up with her boyfriend, and I told her, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of his stuff."

My cousin just broke up with his girlfriend, and I told him, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of her stuff."

I was playing chess with my friend and he said, “Let’s make this interesting.” So I took away his towers, and he took away my queen.

When I was recently standing in front of a huge puddle with my buddy, I remembered how he tricked me a week ago. So I tricked him...

I loved the Twin Towers, it's a shame my dad didn't.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, In every step you take, My support stays true.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your smile's warmth, Lights up my view.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

I thought when my friends called me curvy, it was a compliment, but it turns out they were referring to my spine.

Unfortunately, I had bad luck and faced infidelity.

Picture this: the bedroom door opens and I see my girlfriend in bed with two men...

I didn’t expect her to come back so early.

How are my sister‘s legs and peanut butter alike?\n\nThey’re both smooth and easy to spread.

Someone told me I looked gay today. I told him that my clothes just came out of the closet this morning.

A man asks God, "Hello God, why did you make my wife so dumb?"

God replies, "So she would love you..."

I said I’m losing my mind. My friend said, “You didn’t have much to begin with.”

This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. My grandpa didn’t even survive one.

I told AI to talk dirty to me. It started describing my browser history.

Hello explain bear my love 💕💕

My grandad and your hairline go way back.