My jokes

What's the most between my uncle and aunt?

My aunt waited until I was 14 to come on my face.

My dad died, so I dug his grave. I was asked why I murdered him. I answered, "Guess we'll never know who did it because he dug his own grave." My father was William Afton.

My girlfriend passed away recently.

At the funeral, everyone was shocked about it.

Still, even when dead, she is the best shag I've ever known.

Hi, my name is Jeff.

I did phone sex, but I'll never do it again because last time my penis got stuck in the charging cord.

So my friend and I went camping at a Cold Lake Campground and he jumped into it without any warning, and so I asked him, "Wat-er you doing?"

My aunt’s star sign is Cancer, so it’s pretty ironic how she died. She was eaten alive by a giant freaking crab!

My mom said to let Jesus come inside me; now I can't sit down.

When my dad once went to the Virgin Islands, now it's just called the Islands.

Shorkey will find you in bed tonight, and he will eat you like my joke or else...

I ate the last of my Egyptian food, and now I falafel. I don't know why I made that joke. Probably just becuscus.

What's the difference between my ripped jeans and my arms?.

None.

My wife said if I rape her again, she would leave me. Why didn't anyone tell me it was that easy?

"I've only been ripped off twice in my life. The first time was when I ordered three kebabs and they only delivered two. The second time was when we signed Cristiano Ronaldo."

-Al Nassr owner

1, 2 buckle my shoe.

3, 4 buckle some more.

5, 6 Nike kicks!

I had asked my dog what 2 - 2 is...

She said nothing.

You guys, this is my last time publishing something here. You guys have been sending rude comments, and I need to work on my mental health. Goodbye.

My joke is:

My life.

Daddy, I really miss you. Mummy changed my name to Tickle Timpson. Anyway, daddy I forgive you for abusing me.

I murdered my friend's brother because he kept saying "HEE HEE" like Michael Jackson when I was trying to have a serious conversation. I just found out he was disabled. That's a THRILLER.