My jokes

What did the Pokémon say after having sex?

"My ball was sore!"

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.

One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."

The other asks, "Are you sure?"

"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"

When I say, "Daddy," my stepbrother raises his head.

My pp.

Do you know what my favorite time of day is?

6:30, hands down.

My dad is nice!

One day I was just sitting around when my butthole began to grow larger. It grew and grew and began to engulf the other parts of my body until it swallowed them all. Now I am just a big butthole typing this. Please help me!

A man went to the doctor, and the doctor said, "What happened to you?"

The man replied and said, "I broke my arm in two places!"

Then the doctor replied with, "DON’T GO BACK TO THOSE TWO PLACES!!"

I wasn't going to have a brain transplant...

But then I changed my mind.

Why is my pee pee 2 inches in length but 5 in girth?

My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. Do you know what he said?

"Get your paws off!" 💩💩💩

I wish my lawn was emo, so I would not have to cut it, it would cut itself.

Just walked in on my parents doing it! Worst 30 minutes of my life.

My teacher asked what was the worst time you got paddled by your parents. My one friend said that he got in trouble and got whacked by a stick. I raised my hand and said that my dad whacked me with his dick.

I had a boyfriend once. He broke up with me because he "wanted to be more alive." I guess it didn't work when he went to my basement.

What is the difference between a hundred dead babies and a Ferrari?

I don't have a Ferrari in my garage!

Santa was in my social studies book. He was a redcoat.

My mom and dad: KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS TO EAT! Me: What's for dinner? Mom and Dad: Food.

The next day KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR FOOD! My brother and sister: What's for dinner? Me: Food ;-;

When my bro says "YOUR MOM" when I'm talking when I'm at school, and my friend says "YOUR MOM," me punches him;-;

My crush rejected me 2 years ago, and I still have never moved on. I'll be over her when a train is over me.