My jokes
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
I told the ugly friend in my friend group that when they daydream, they shouldn't picture themselves because it will just ruin it.
1, 2 buckle my shoe.
3, 4 buckle some more.
5, 6 Nike kicks.
1, 2 buckle my shoe.
3, 4 open the door.
5, 6 Nike kicks.
What does a knife have but not my life...
A point.
1 like = 1 small dick whiny conservative in my blender.
Today my biology teacher asked me what's commonly found in a cell......... And apparently "black people" isn't the right answer.
What do you call it when an orphan goes to Panera Bread?
"Panera, my parents are dead."
I once was playing with my friend and Roblox girlfriend, then one day, they cheated on me. I broke up with her and unfriended him, then I saw my mom and my uncle crying!
Me be like: ;-;
Back in my day, the chicken dance was where the hen got raped by an angry pack of roosters.
I like my clocks like I like people.
Under 12.
What do the Twin Towers and my Mom have in common? They both went down on my dad.
+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.
+1 follower = 1 kid in my Microwave.
+1 Comet.
Once I almost died. I'll give it another shot out of the gun to finish my job.
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair. She came crawling back!
My four conditions:
1. I need coffee.
2. I need vacation.
3. I need food.
4. I need tape, axe, saw, bag, shovel, and an alibi.
The cashier asked if I wanted to give my extra dollar to the poor. I said sure, and I got a Cash App notification for $1.
My parents found my YT channel. I hate myself now, and I'm emotional.
SELF HARM
“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given.
I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”
Do you want to know my motto when I’m bored?
Punch an orphan, who is he going to tell, his mom?
What's the similarity between my son and a rug from eBay? I asked for a refund.