My Jokes

You never think of how people will react to an event. My friend gets discounts at any store he goes to.

Me: Dad, my phone is broken.

Dad: How?

Me: I clicked the home button, but I'm still at school.

Dad: Stupid.

I wasn't close to my dad when he died.

Which was good, he died to a landmine.

My sister thinks she's sooooo smart. She said that the only food that makes you cry is onions, therefore I threw a coconut at her.

Aloneness is not the joke, it's unfortunately my reality.

happy valentines day everyon!

A pink Valentine's Day card with a portrait of Johann Sebastian Bach. The text on the card reads "come bach my love", and is signed "To: WJE From: MAP".

My therapist told me time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him.

Then I waited for the results.

My girlfriend broke up with me because she caught me eating a banana with my butt........

IMAGINE!

I was taking my dog on a long walk when I heard a loud scream. I ran towards the sound. There I found Penaldo sinking in a pit of mud. I was trying to help him out when my dog said, "Leave him, he's been in the mud for years." I walked away shocked but not surprised.

My teachers told me I'd never amount to much because I procrastinate so much.

I told them, "Just you wait!"

My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.

Chenle: One time when I was younger, someone asked me how old I was and I forgot. I had to Wikipedia my age to remember.

Jisung: This is the richest thing I've ever heard in my life.

I hit something when I pulled into my driveway.

And then I noticed that my cat was missing.

I was given my electronics test today. Turns out it was given to me 'cause I have the same name as someone who got 54/59. I actually got my hopes up, too.