My jokes

Me: Wanna hear a joke?

Person: Sure.

Me: Never mind, I was gonna say my life, but my life isn't a joke! Jokes have meaning.

Person: Dear God...

What do Jesus and I have in common?

No one knows my real bday either.

Today I asked my phone, Siri, why am I still single?

And I activated the front camera! 😭😭😭😭😭

My wife (or husband) told me to get six cans of Sprite from the grocery store.

I had just realized when I got home that I had picked up 7-Up.

I would have a joke for my friend... but he can't afford the punchline.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll be a jaeger, will you be my kaiju?

My mom said if I'm awake playing Roblox still, she said she was going to bang my head against the keyboard. hxhdhduhxbsfj.

I like my clocks like I like people.

Under 12.

Hey guys, can we stop making these jokes? If my mom sees this, I will never see the sun again.

Oh . . .

:(

Continue.

Me and my friends jumped some orphans. Who will they tell? Their parents?

Me and my friend are walking, we see a kid. My friend asks him why he's crying and if he lost his parents. He said, "Yeah." I slapped my friend because we were at an orphanage.

Me: Yo mama so fat her alphabet starts with O.

My friend: What's that supposed to mean?

Me: O B C D.

If I die, does my depression die with me?

I gave my friend some paper. It cut his wrists.

Four kids at my school tried suicide and failed. They are now known as the Suicide Squad.

P.S. My brother made this up when he had no meds... I almost died.

What does ATM stand for?

Answer: Amy’s Terrible Mom.

😂🤣

An Asian student was learning logarithm in class. He wrote down his name after the question. The teacher asked why. He replied, "My class ID is number 1."

My ex-wife misses me, but her aim is getting better.

You're the sun in my life, now get 93 million miles away from me.

I once was playing with my friend and Roblox girlfriend, then one day, they cheated on me. I broke up with her and unfriended him, then I saw my mom and my uncle crying!

Me be like: ;-;