My jokes
Hey guys, can we stop making these jokes? If my mom sees this, I will never see the sun again.
Oh . . .
:(
Continue.
Me and my friends jumped some orphans. Who will they tell? Their parents?
Me: Yo mama so fat her alphabet starts with O.
My friend: What's that supposed to mean?
Me: O B C D.
P.S. My brother made this up when he had no meds... I almost died.
What does ATM stand for?
Answer: Amy’s Terrible Mom.
😂🤣
Me and my friend are walking, we see a kid. My friend asks him why he's crying and if he lost his parents. He said, "Yeah." I slapped my friend because we were at an orphanage.
godd
If I die, does my depression die with me?
I gave my friend some paper. It cut his wrists.
Four kids at my school tried suicide and failed. They are now known as the Suicide Squad.
What did the Pokémon say after having sex?
"My ball was sore!"
My grief counselor died.
He was so good, I don’t even care! 😂😂😂
My grief counselor died. He was so good, I don’t even care.
Male Patient: So, I just pull my pants down and bend over for this prostate exam?
Doctor: Yep.
Male Patient: Ok, I'm ready. Hey! That doesn't feel like a finger.
Doctor: Yep, and I'm not even a doctor.
My wife and children are leaving me over my obsession with horse racing.
And they're off!
An Ob-Gyn asks a lady to put her feet up on the stirrups.
Doctor: My God, you have the biggest vagina I’ve ever seen!
Woman: You don’t have to say that twice.
Doctor: I didn’t.
I asked my dad why a grown man would play Pokémon Go?
He said “Wynaut.”
Me: Why did the chicken cross the road?
My friend: To get to the other side?
Me: No, to get to the idiot's house.
My friend: Oh.
Me: Knock knock.
My friend: Who's there?
Me: The chicken.
Chris Rock: Jada, I can't wait to see you in G.I. Jane 2!
Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song starts playing:
Will: "I got in one lil' fight about my wife's lost hair, she said, 'Will, if you don't do something I'm gonna have an affair!'" 😂😂😂
What is the difference between a hundred dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage!
I played Uno with my Mexican friend.
That bastard took all the green cards!
It's sad when the person that gave you memories becomes a memory.
You know one of the worst feelings ever to exist?
When your parents and friends all still see the happy little kid you used to be...
...but in reality, that kid has been long gone for years. (not my words)