Murder Jokes

These murder jokes are just KILLING me!

Don't you just want to go on a mass murder while listening to goodbye Moonman. Oh just me... OK

Don't be scared of skeletons

They don't have the guts for murder

A straight man and a gay man are talking, the straight man says, "I'm wanted in 2 states for murder." and the gay man replies with, "oh, that sucks. I'm wanted in 13 for existing."

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

As a murderer, I stabbed a man after infiltrating his house. His wife came in, and saw me. She fell into tears. I got up and said,"Drama queen!"

what's the difference between genocide and mass murder? genocide is racist

joe: are your mom and dad nice?

zozo: well they were until i murdered them over a bottle of pringles

joe: oh so you are an orphan, and a murderer

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

knock knock

who's there?

A murderer.

A murderer w-

is cut off by being murdered

Why did the murder invest in condoms?To kill the future buyers!

"And then I said KNIFE to meet you."

"You stabbed my brother!"

"It's okay, I'm in STABle condition!"

grandfathers last words :Stop shaking the ladder you cunt Grandmother last words : you know how to use that hammer Dads last words : Always aim before you shoot that gun Moms last words :Turn of the stove when you're done My last thought : am I a murder

what do you call and egg murder?

An eggs_terminator

I remember my dad's last words "I met your father."

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

What’s the only victimless crime you can commit? Murder, cause there’s a victimless!

“I’m on a hunt for my wife’s murderer, have been for years.” “Oh my God! Your wife’s been murdered?!” “No no, you misunderstand. I’m still looking for him.”