Murder Jokes

I like my humans like I like my chicken................Fully cooked

Wayne Couzens the police officer who killed Sarah Everard , has been complaining about receiving a whole life Tariff for her murder ...

I think he should count his blessings , he could of had it worse ...

He could of married her !

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

how do rapists justify murdering a young innocent human being?

same way as pro aborts, by saying "my body, my choice"

Quite Kid: *reaches into bag* Teacher: EVERYBODY RUN

If a man kills a kid, it's called Murder. If a woman kills a kid, it's called Reproductive Rights.

When I'm bored, I text a random number, "I hid the body... now what?"

Abner’s wife was laying on her death bed. She suddenly used all her strength to sit up and say to her husband, “I must tell you something, or my soul will never know peace. I have been unfaithful to you, Abner. In this very house, not one month ago.” “Hush, dear,” soothed Abner. “I know all about it. Why else have I poisoned you?”

I comforted my friend about his wife’s death: until I found out who did it.

so i was on the phone with a scam caller, he said he knew where i lived and would kill my children and wife jokes on him i already did.

In the morning, I become a cereal killer.

What does JFK’s killer and a prostitute have in common? “They both blow heads”.

When I was a child, my parents told me my uncle was ‘sleeping with the fishes’. At first, I thought he bought a water bed, but I then discovered he was killed and buried at sea.

Today someone was killed with a starter pistol. Police think it might be race related.

The cops are still searching for my wife's killer. Luckily I already fled the country.

Q:What does a dead prostitute and a swimming pool have in common? A: They're both cold when you first get in, but warms up after a few strokes

how did the gay girl die? homocide

You do 1 line, you're not a crack head You drink 1 beer, you're not an alcoholic But I murder 1 person...

You are walking through the woods when you cross a woman who has been raped and beheaded, what is the first thing you do? Check your map, you’re obviously going in circles.