Murder jokes
The cops are still searching for my wife's killer. Luckily, I already fled the country.
Who is Tracy Latimer's least favourite Beauty and the Beast character?
GASton.
If a person kills their counselor, does that mean that they don't need therapy anymore?
I bought a silencer for my gun, but I don't think it works.
My victims still scream.
A sad guy called "nun" is crying next to the grave of his best friend called "month". "Month" got killed by a gay guy, and after that, "nun" got homophobic.
While "nun" is sitting next to "month"'s grave, he heard a guy ask his friend: 《Do You Wanna Play A Game On?》 "Nun" got angry and he asked that guy: 《What did you just say to your friend?》 The guy answers: 《A game on, why?》
"Nun" kills the two guys.
🤔
Here’s what I did to the kids at the orphanage. I dropkicked 12, lit 10 on fire, comboed 9, punched 3, and murdered 1.
Q: Name a murderer?
Aborted fetus: My mum.
Mary's mother was a good person. Why did she die?
Because she got stabbed in the heart 60 times by a switchblade.
If Charlie Kirk were a 5-year-old schoolkid being murdered, America would have moved on by now.
There is a kid in my school who is exactly like Dahmer, but he doesn't eat ppl. Or does he...?
He's Dahmer's son @domink.
A man is with his friend in a bar.
The friend, out of the blue, asks, "Hey, what's your body count?"
Nervous, the man looks away.
The friend then says, "I'm talking about sex."
The man then turns back and mumbles, "Oh... I thought you saw inside the basement..."
"Wait, wha..."
"What?"
If a woman named Susan gets murdered, is it considered a Sue-icide?
Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
Because he was arrested on suspicion of murder.
If a pregnant emo kills herself, is it murder-suicide?
Ya make 10 paintings, you aren't an artist.
Ya make 20 meals, you aren't a chef.
But when I kill ONE PERSON, I'm a "horrible person" and a "menace to society."
Hey, wake up. I just murdered your family, but I live alone.
Then who are these people in your house? They are people in my house? Well, not anymore, dumb bitch. You're welcome, you could have died.
What kind of punch takes out 20 children and 8 adults? A Sandy Hook.
Abner’s wife was laying on her death bed. She suddenly used all her strength to sit up and say to her husband, “I must tell you something, or my soul will never know peace. I have been unfaithful to you, Abner. In this very house, not one month ago.”
“Hush, dear,” soothed Abner. “I know all about it. Why else have I poisoned you?”
When I was a child, my parents told me my uncle was 'sleeping with the fishes.' At first, I thought he bought a water bed, but I then discovered he was killed and buried at sea.
I killed a man in '94.