Movie jokes

Little Timmy is hanging out with Rapunzel, and he mentions Hugo and a few other characters from Varian And The Seven Kingdoms, and she responds with, “Who the frick are you talking about? Since I don’t know them, I got a surprise for you!” She wraps him up in Christmas wrapping paper labeled "For Eugene."

Mom: ON THE PHONE WITH CHILD- Honey, is Dad late to pick you up again?

Child: No, Mum. Dad is here, but he is talking about me to Mrs. Lili, the math teacher.

Mom: Can you hear them?

Child: I think... they are watching a good movie.

Mom: Why do you think that?

Child: Because I keep hearing this *HOLDS ONTO PHONE* and clap, clap, clap.

Rachel won the lottery twice in two years. Her friend Jim called her every day asking for tips on winning, just the same. Then one day, simply to get rid of him, Rachel said, "Watch two martial arts movies, eat three pieces of hard beef jerky, and pick a fight at a bar."

Jim replied with a shocked look, "That's what I do after Mr. Tugman shakes my hand too long."

What do Stephen Hawking and the Wicked Witch have in common?

If you throw water over them, they both die...

Batman vs Superman?

What movie do orphans hate? The Fast and the Furious.

Why can't an orphan role-play Star Wars?

Because they have no one to play Darth Vader.

Anyone else think High School Musical would have been a better film with a school shooter?

Your mamma so fat Thanos had to clap 4 times.

You're so fat, Thanos had to snap three times to destroy you.

What do you call Cap and Spider-Man? Spider-America!

"Cancer isn't real. It's probably special effects."

Roses are red, I am Groot, Honey, where's my super suit?

Hey, if you've watched Twilight with Edward, Bella, and Jacob, then here's something for you.

Do you think Bella should have gotten with Jacob? I think she should have, ngl.

Face the truth, Jake could have went on the door, but Rose wanted him to die.

What did Nemo say to the emo?

"Be careful, you can't Nemo your way out of emo."

"Morbius" is a bad movie (jokey).

Uma Thurman in "Pulp Fiction" was very kind and possibly the sweetest character, unless you count her forehead as of now.

Why do orphans love Dom Toretto?

Because "family is everything!"

What do you call James Bond in a bathtub?

Bubble 007.