Movie jokes
"When I was in jail, my girlfriend abandoned me. I created a fascination with becoming a gynecologist. When I got bailed out, I became a Travis Bickle."
What did Warner Brothers get for making that horrible Joker sequel?
They got what they fucking deserved!!!!!!!!
Q. What's Terri Schiavo's favorite movie?
A. The Purge.
Little Timmy is hanging out with Rapunzel, and he mentions Hugo and a few other characters from Varian And The Seven Kingdoms, and she responds with, “Who the frick are you talking about? Since I don’t know them, I got a surprise for you!” She wraps him up in Christmas wrapping paper labeled "For Eugene."
Mom: ON THE PHONE WITH CHILD- Honey, is Dad late to pick you up again?
Child: No, Mum. Dad is here, but he is talking about me to Mrs. Lili, the math teacher.
Mom: Can you hear them?
Child: I think... they are watching a good movie.
Mom: Why do you think that?
Child: Because I keep hearing this *HOLDS ONTO PHONE* and clap, clap, clap.
Memes
Rachel won the lottery twice in two years. Her friend Jim called her every day asking for tips on winning, just the same. Then one day, simply to get rid of him, Rachel said, "Watch two martial arts movies, eat three pieces of hard beef jerky, and pick a fight at a bar."
Jim replied with a shocked look, "That's what I do after Mr. Tugman shakes my hand too long."
What do Stephen Hawking and the Wicked Witch have in common?
If you throw water over them, they both die...
Batman vs Superman?
Your mamma so fat Thanos had to clap 4 times.
What movie do orphans hate? The Fast and the Furious.
Anyone else think High School Musical would have been a better film with a school shooter?
Why can't an orphan role-play Star Wars?
Because they have no one to play Darth Vader.
You're so fat, Thanos had to snap three times to destroy you.
What do you call Cap and Spider-Man? Spider-America!
"Cancer isn't real. It's probably special effects."
What's green and furry?
Fiona from Shrek.
What’s an autistic person's favorite movie:
A Quiet Place?
Face the truth, Jake could have went on the door, but Rose wanted him to die.
What do you call James Bond in a bathtub?
Bubble 007.
Roses are red, I am Groot, Honey, where's my super suit?