Movie Jokes

Your dad is Spider-Man because he’s far from home.

Your mama is so fat, when Thanos snapped his finger, she only lost weight.

Q: What did Darth Vader say to his smashed wristwatch?

A: I find your lack of face disturbing.

My favorite Pixar film: Wall-E.

Spaceballs: The Joke.

Me: No one likes Shrek; he is just a fat green guy.

Friend: Hey! Stop talking about me.

"Dick, you're fired."

"I'd buy that for a dollar."

Where did the cows go to a date?

To the moo-vies!

I'm making a new movie, it's called "Veggie Tales." My star actor is Stephen Hawking.

Shrek yells at Donkey. Fiona yells, "Stop yelling at the ass!"

I saw Simba walking slowly.

I told him "Mufasa!"

Yo mama so fat that when Thanos snapped his fingers, she was still there.

What is Saturn's favorite movie?

Lord of the Rings.

I work at a movie studio.

Unfortunately, the team I was working with was useless.

The team:

Little Timmy is hanging out with Rapunzel, and he mentions Hugo and a few other characters from Varian And The Seven Kingdoms, and she responds with, “Who the frick are you talking about? Since I don’t know them, I got a surprise for you!” She wraps him up in Christmas wrapping paper labeled "For Eugene."

Mom: ON THE PHONE WITH CHILD- Honey, is Dad late to pick you up again?

Child: No, Mum. Dad is here, but he is talking about me to Mrs. Lili, the math teacher.

Mom: Can you hear them?

Child: I think... they are watching a good movie.

Mom: Why do you think that?

Child: Because I keep hearing this *HOLDS ONTO PHONE* and clap, clap, clap.

Rachel won the lottery twice in two years. Her friend Jim called her every day asking for tips on winning, just the same. Then one day, simply to get rid of him, Rachel said, "Watch two martial arts movies, eat three pieces of hard beef jerky, and pick a fight at a bar."

Jim replied with a shocked look, "That's what I do after Mr. Tugman shakes my hand too long."

What do Stephen Hawking and the Wicked Witch have in common?

If you throw water over them, they both die...

Batman vs Superman?

Your mamma so fat Thanos had to clap 4 times.