Movie

Movie jokes

Boyfriend

I was watching The Perfect Murder with my boyfriend. It was a good movie, but the weird thing was that my boyfriend was taking notes throughout the whole movie.

Mama

Your mama is so fat, when Thanos snapped his finger, she only lost weight.

Wristwatch

Q: What did Darth Vader say to his smashed wristwatch?

A: I find your lack of face disturbing.

Shrek

Me: No one likes Shrek; he is just a fat green guy.

Friend: Hey! Stop talking about me.

Star

I'm making a new movie, it's called "Veggie Tales." My star actor is Stephen Hawking.

Ass

Shrek yells at Donkey. Fiona yells, "Stop yelling at the ass!"

Mama

Yo mama so fat that when Thanos snapped his fingers, she was still there.

Team

I work at a movie studio.

Unfortunately, the team I was working with was useless.

The team:

Character

Little Timmy is hanging out with Rapunzel, and he mentions Hugo and a few other characters from Varian And The Seven Kingdoms, and she responds with, “Who the frick are you talking about? Since I don’t know them, I got a surprise for you!” She wraps him up in Christmas wrapping paper labeled "For Eugene."

Mom

Mom: ON THE PHONE WITH CHILD- Honey, is Dad late to pick you up again?

Child: No, Mum. Dad is here, but he is talking about me to Mrs. Lili, the math teacher.

Mom: Can you hear them?

Child: I think... they are watching a good movie.

Mom: Why do you think that?

Child: Because I keep hearing this *HOLDS ONTO PHONE* and clap, clap, clap.