Movie jokes
I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. I was sitting in the back of the movie theater, where no one was. Suddenly, she was sitting in front of me with some guy she was hugging. I was furious. I couldn't stay there anymore, so her friend and I had to finish it in the toilet.
What's a fat Mexican woman's favorite movie? Tortanic.
What do you think of the Bill Cosby movie?
Netflix and alcohol.
Q. What movie is a fat person most afraid of?
A. The Hunger Games.
What Disney movie does the church make little girls watch?
Snow White and the Seven Deadly Sins.
What do you call a romance movie for Down syndrome people? Chromeo and Juliet.
Q. What's Terri Schiavo's favorite movie?
A. The Purge.
Called a homeless kid 'Spider-Man' because he had no way home.
What is the favorite movie of orphans?
Spider-Man: Homecoming.
If you have a friend that will not leave you alone about something, just simply tell them: "If you watch something, have you ever thought that you're in a movie when you watch a movie?"
If she's not ready for an X-rated movie, she's not ready for this X-rated booty.
My wife and I watched the movie Indecent Proposal last night. Afterwards, I asked her if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for $1,000,000. She said, "Sure, but where am I gonna get that kind of money?"
Which scary movie did the bear refuse to watch?
The Bear Witch Project.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite movie?
The Boy in the Plastic Bubble? Why? The boy who was in the bubble.
Yo momma so delusional, she thought your grandma's Venus flytrap was Audrey II.
What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?
Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.
"When I was in jail, my girlfriend abandoned me. I created a fascination with becoming a gynecologist. When I got bailed out, I became a Travis Bickle."
I think fat people took the Hunger Games a little too seriously.
What do you call a movie at Bill Cosby’s house?
Netflix and pill.
Little Timmy is hanging out with Rapunzel, and he mentions Hugo and a few other characters from Varian And The Seven Kingdoms, and she responds with, “Who the frick are you talking about? Since I don’t know them, I got a surprise for you!” She wraps him up in Christmas wrapping paper labeled "For Eugene."