Movie jokes

If she's not ready for an X-rated movie, she's not ready for this X-rated booty.

My wife and I watched the movie Indecent Proposal last night. Afterwards, I asked her if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for $1,000,000. She said, "Sure, but where am I gonna get that kind of money?"

Which scary movie did the bear refuse to watch?

The Bear Witch Project.

What is Michael Jackson's favorite movie?

The Boy in the Plastic Bubble? Why? The boy who was in the bubble.

Yo momma so delusional, she thought your grandma's Venus flytrap was Audrey II.

What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?

Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.

"When I was in jail, my girlfriend abandoned me. I created a fascination with becoming a gynecologist. When I got bailed out, I became a Travis Bickle."

I think fat people took the Hunger Games a little too seriously.

What do you call a movie at Bill Cosby’s house?

Netflix and pill.

Little Timmy is hanging out with Rapunzel, and he mentions Hugo and a few other characters from Varian And The Seven Kingdoms, and she responds with, “Who the frick are you talking about? Since I don’t know them, I got a surprise for you!” She wraps him up in Christmas wrapping paper labeled "For Eugene."

What did Warner Brothers get for making that horrible Joker sequel?

They got what they fucking deserved!!!!!!!!

Paul Walker started in 3 movies: Fast and Furious, Gone in 60 Seconds, To Die Hard.

Actually, Iron Man is female.

What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1.

They're making a new Alien movie.

There are so many aliens you can't keep track.

Emma Watson gets hotter and hotter in the Harry Potter movies when you’re watching in reverse order.

I got a part in a movie called "Cocaine." I only have one line.

You're so bald that Disney uses your head for movie scripts.

Did you know Paul Walker was a method actor? He took his role very seriously as a human torch.

What do you call a Mexican fighting a Catholic priest?

Alien vs. Predator.