Where do rabbits eat breakfast? -- IHOP.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What is the toughest thing about living a vegan life?
Getting up at 5am to milk the almonds.
Really Karen?
What time do butts get up? At the crack of dawn!!!
The sun isn’t the only thing rose up this morning....
so this blind man was walking down the street with his stick right. and he walked passed this fish market, he took a deep breath and said " WWOAAH GOODMORNING LADIES"
It’s Christmas morning and all the decorations are done but the tree looks like it’s missing something * grabs the noose *
I slept like a log last night.......woke up in the fireplace
I told a diabetic boy to have sweet dreams, and he died the next morning
What does a killer say in the shower in the morning.
-Splish Splash, i'm gonna slash...
🔪🗡️ 🩸
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to.
Unless you are in prison
An asain went to bed at 9:00 woke up at 6 people say he still sleeping
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Sometimes I just wake up in the morning and think damn better luck next time
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
GO ON THE QUINTILLIONAIRE MORNING ROUTINE NOW!
1. Wake up 2. Take a shit 3. Eat 4. Get out of bed 5. Have breakfast
What did the cow say every morning Good moorning!!
Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together. In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet. She replies, "No". Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?" His mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school." Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?" She replies, "No." Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?" His mom replies, "Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school." After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?" His mom says "No." He asks, "Do you know what I think?" His Mom replies, "Ok, do tell me what you think?" He says: "Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue."
I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No, I hate myself now.” – Rodney Dangerfield
