Define abnormal life.
Waking up everyday living a sane life!
What time do butts get up? At the crack of dawn!!!
Men wake up with a boner. Women wake up yawning. Coincidence?
Amber Heard’s Morning Routine
Wake Up Eat Breakfast Take a Shit Get Out of Bed
aaron and ben meet on grinder [they have a drink and have sex they wake up in the morning in bed aaron says im so glad i got it out ben relys what oh just the HIV
Mom: Wake up!
Me: No, I'm too disappointed and I have a headache...
Mom: Why are you disappointed?
Me: I took 12 random pills and I still woke up...
Man looks at his friend and says "if you and a friend go camping and you two get really drunk and in the morning you wake up with a condom in your butt would you tell anyone? " The friend says im a disgusted tone "No" So the man says "ok let's go camping"
What's worse than waking up with a penis drawn on your face?
Finding out it was traced
Yo mama is so fat she wakes up on both sides on the bed
This is a poem my younger sister when she was three, recited to a crowd and I will never forget it. It is very short though.
Good night, sleep tight, wake up bright in the morning light, to do what's right, with all your might.
After a long day of work, Kanye West goes to his Kanye Nest to take his Kanye Rest. He wakes up feeling his Kanye Best. Then he’ll get Kanye Dressed on his Kanye Vest to go on a Kanye Quest. He goes to church and becomes Kanye Blessed, then to a hotel room to be a Kanye Guest.
Q:what's the hardest thing about losing your virginity A:making sure she doesn't wake up
Why did the dog 🐶 wake up tired?
It had a ruff night. 😂
Wye did the orphan sleep outside... because he gets to wake up toe mother nature
Two girls have a sleepover.
Karen: Let's go to bed. Lauren:Fine, but it's early. *Karen wakes up and exits room" *Lauren hears noise* Mikey: Your so much better than my girlfriend Karen. Lauren: *laughs* Lauren: *remembers her boyfriend is Karen's brother Mikey*
Why did the skunk 🦨 sleep 💤 under a car?
Because he wanted to wake up oily.
Confucius say, man who go to sleep with itchy bum, wake up with smelly finger.
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to.
Unless you are in prison
Why make a joke when i wake up and look at myelf?
Sometimes I just wake up in the morning and think damn better luck next time
