Money jokes
Are you free tomorrow?
No, I’m expensive, sorry. 💵💸
Why do orphans like Monopoly?
To cry about the money they can’t earn in real life.
Gimme a nickel or I'll tickle your pickle!
Why did the orphan play Monopoly? To at least get some money. #fake
Why do emo people go to the store with no money?
Because they just scan their bar code and get everything free.
What did the leper say to the hooker? "You can keep the tip."
Your mom is so hot, if she had an OnlyFans page, she would get more money than companies during Pride Month.
How to make the kissing in a tree recognizable: me and you k.i.s.s.i.n.g., tree sitting, wedding, love, then comes love, then comes baby in the carriage, then hate comes, divorce and purse.
FEW!!!!!!!
Why did the man laugh when he only had just one nickel and one penny in his pocket?
He had a 6 cents of humor.
The orphan had to earn money because he/she didn't have parents to give him/her an allowance.
No, "quarter quarter."
What are the similarities between Stephen Hawking and a bull?
They both charge.
I like men like I like money, always getting lost under my bed.
Yo, Rob, you forgot to pay me cause you sucky sucky my thang.
AKA, you're up for adoption.
They say the only curves Daveon likes are on his credit card statements.
What is the legal term for shoplifting?
10 fingers discount.
Money, money, green, green. Money is all I need, need.
If y'all gotta crush on me, tell me now before my dad spends my Valentine's money on crack and alcohol.
I called my guy friend a cock-sucker the other day. He replied with, "Hey, 20 bucks is 20 bucks."
Why don't rappers ever gamble?
Because they're always dropping beats, not bets.