Money jokes
Why do orphans like Monopoly?
To cry about the money they can’t earn in real life.
I like men like I like money, always getting lost under my bed.
Gimme a nickel or I'll tickle your pickle!
Your mom is so hot, if she had an OnlyFans page, she would get more money than companies during Pride Month.
How to make the kissing in a tree recognizable: me and you k.i.s.s.i.n.g., tree sitting, wedding, love, then comes love, then comes baby in the carriage, then hate comes, divorce and purse.
FEW!!!!!!!
Why did the man laugh when he only had just one nickel and one penny in his pocket?
He had a 6 cents of humor.
The orphan had to earn money because he/she didn't have parents to give him/her an allowance.
Yo, Rob, you forgot to pay me cause you sucky sucky my thang.
AKA, you're up for adoption.
No, "quarter quarter."
What are the similarities between Stephen Hawking and a bull?
They both charge.
Why don't rappers ever gamble?
Because they're always dropping beats, not bets.
If brains were taxed, Slade would get a rebate.
They say the only curves Daveon likes are on his credit card statements.
Little Jim's friend told him that if he farts, he will give him a tenner. Little Jim tries to fart, but he poos himself, and he is bullied until he puts the poo on the bullies' face.
I bet Steven Hawking $100 if he could catch me.
As soon as he said yes, I climbed up the stairs.
My wife and I watched the movie Indecent Proposal last night. Afterwards, I asked her if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for $1,000,000. She said, "Sure, but where am I gonna get that kind of money?"
Money, money, green, green. Money is all I need, need.
What is the legal term for shoplifting?
10 fingers discount.
Did anyone around here lose a roll of twenty-dollar bills wrapped with a rubber band? Because we found the rubber band.
I called my guy friend a cock-sucker the other day. He replied with, "Hey, 20 bucks is 20 bucks."