Money jokes

What are the similarities between Stephen Hawking and a bull?

They both charge.

Why did the man laugh when he only had just one nickel and one penny in his pocket?

He had a 6 cents of humor.

The orphan had to earn money because he/she didn't have parents to give him/her an allowance.

I like men like I like money, always getting lost under my bed.

Yo, Rob, you forgot to pay me cause you sucky sucky my thang.

AKA, you're up for adoption.

Q: What do you call a rich Asian? A: Dr.

How does a rapper keep their money safe?

In a RAP VAULT.

Why did the rapper become a banker?

Because he wanted to make some BIG BANK DEPOSITS!

Why did the rapper go to school?

To learn his ABCs (All 'Bout Cash)!

Did anyone around here lose a roll of twenty-dollar bills wrapped with a rubber band? Because we found the rubber band.

What is the legal term for shoplifting?

10 fingers discount.

My wife and I watched the movie Indecent Proposal last night. Afterwards, I asked her if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for $1,000,000. She said, "Sure, but where am I gonna get that kind of money?"

Money, money, green, green. Money is all I need, need.

I bet Steven Hawking $100 if he could catch me.

As soon as he said yes, I climbed up the stairs.

Why do people have a lot of money and they have to spend it on jewelry 24/7 all the time?

My girlfriend is so stupid, she asked me if I wanted to shower with her to save money on our water bill, while we were staying at a hotel where we didn't even have to pay the water bill.

What's the difference between Rorochan and skydivers?

One does it for the cash, the other for the views.

Little Jim's friend told him that if he farts, he will give him a tenner. Little Jim tries to fart, but he poos himself, and he is bullied until he puts the poo on the bullies' face.

Why don't rappers ever gamble?

Because they're always dropping beats, not bets.

If brains were taxed, Slade would get a rebate.