Money jokes

Mr. Beast challenge in Memphis be like: last one to survive the shooting wins 1 million dollars.

They say the only curves Daveon likes are on his credit card statements.

If I had a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d still only have five cents.

Guy: Do you want a nickel?

Girl: Sure.

Guy: So you’ll tickle my pickle?

Girl: 😳😩😩😩

What has a tail, a head, but no body?

A coin.

I held on to my money stronger than an orphan holds on to a teddy bear on Father's Day.

One day my mom told me not to be an actor. I said, "But mommy, I will make a lot of money!"

"Why are all these orphans here?" said Chris.

"Because their dad went to go get the milk," said MrBeast.

3 Years Later,

"I AM GIVING APPLE IN A SHARE TO EVERY ORPHAN IN THE WORLD, AND I'M ALSO GIVING EACH OF THEM 1000000000000 DOLLARS."

Why you should never borrow money from dwarves?

Because they are always short! 😁😁😁😁

"5 dollars if a fat guy can find his penis."

I gave an emo kid money.

He gave me the great depression.

Why did the squirrel ask for a pay raise?

He was paid peanuts.

When I died, my friend said he'd cover me.

What wastes your money as you earn it?

Women.

What stands on the side of the road and needs a lot of money to buy?

Billboard, did you think I was gonna say street walker?

Why would you never donate to crabs?

Because they're shellfish!

I turned gay because my wife is too poor.

I called my guy friend a cock-sucker the other day. He replied with, "Hey, 20 bucks is 20 bucks."

If y'all gotta crush on me, tell me now before my dad spends my Valentine's money on crack and alcohol.

Three drunk guys entered a taxi.

The taxi driver knew that they were drunk, so he started the engine and turned it off again. Then said, "We have reached your destination." The first guy gave him money, and the second guy said, "Thank you." The third guy slapped the driver. The driver was shocked, thinking the third drunk knew what he did. But then he asked, "What was that for?" The third guy replied, "Control your speed next time, you nearly killed us!"