Money jokes
If brains were taxed, Slade would get a rebate.
I turned gay because my wife is too poor.
What's the difference between Rorochan and skydivers?
One does it for the cash, the other for the views.
Yo mama is so ugly that even scammers wouldn't go after her money.
What do you do in India when you need to tell the time but don't have the money for a watch?
You bob your head from side to side like a metronome.
Why do Jews suck at mugging?
Because all they ask for is the spare change in your pockets.
Yo mama is so Jewish that pennies run away from getting pinched by her.
What's a Jew's worst nightmare?
A frozen bank account.
Why is chemotherapy like a five-star meal?
Because you have to have money to pay for it.
I bet Steven Hawking $100 if he could catch me.
As soon as he said yes, I climbed up the stairs.
My wife and I watched the movie Indecent Proposal last night. Afterwards, I asked her if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for $1,000,000. She said, "Sure, but where am I gonna get that kind of money?"
Did anyone around here lose a roll of twenty-dollar bills wrapped with a rubber band? Because we found the rubber band.
Why do people have a lot of money and they have to spend it on jewelry 24/7 all the time?
Little Jim's friend told him that if he farts, he will give him a tenner. Little Jim tries to fart, but he poos himself, and he is bullied until he puts the poo on the bullies' face.
My girlfriend is so stupid, she asked me if I wanted to shower with her to save money on our water bill, while we were staying at a hotel where we didn't even have to pay the water bill.
"Why are all these orphans here?" said Chris.
"Because their dad went to go get the milk," said MrBeast.
3 Years Later,
"I AM GIVING APPLE IN A SHARE TO EVERY ORPHAN IN THE WORLD, AND I'M ALSO GIVING EACH OF THEM 1000000000000 DOLLARS."
One day my mom told me not to be an actor. I said, "But mommy, I will make a lot of money!"
I gave an emo kid money.
He gave me the great depression.
Why you should never borrow money from dwarves?
Because they are always short! 😁😁😁😁
Why did the squirrel ask for a pay raise?
He was paid peanuts.