Money jokes
Did anyone around here lose a roll of twenty-dollar bills wrapped with a rubber band? Because we found the rubber band.
What is the legal term for shoplifting?
10 fingers discount.
I bet Steven Hawking $100 if he could catch me.
As soon as he said yes, I climbed up the stairs.
They say the only curves Daveon likes are on his credit card statements.
I called my guy friend a cock-sucker the other day. He replied with, "Hey, 20 bucks is 20 bucks."
If y'all gotta crush on me, tell me now before my dad spends my Valentine's money on crack and alcohol.
Why don't rappers ever gamble?
Because they're always dropping beats, not bets.
If brains were taxed, Slade would get a rebate.
I turned gay because my wife is too poor.
What's the difference between Rorochan and skydivers?
One does it for the cash, the other for the views.
Little Jim's friend told him that if he farts, he will give him a tenner. Little Jim tries to fart, but he poos himself, and he is bullied until he puts the poo on the bullies' face.
Why would you never donate to crabs?
Because they're shellfish!
Why did the squirrel ask for a pay raise?
He was paid peanuts.
Why you should never borrow money from dwarves?
Because they are always short! 😁😁😁😁
"Why are all these orphans here?" said Chris.
"Because their dad went to go get the milk," said MrBeast.
3 Years Later,
"I AM GIVING APPLE IN A SHARE TO EVERY ORPHAN IN THE WORLD, AND I'M ALSO GIVING EACH OF THEM 1000000000000 DOLLARS."
Why do people have a lot of money and they have to spend it on jewelry 24/7 all the time?
My girlfriend is so stupid, she asked me if I wanted to shower with her to save money on our water bill, while we were staying at a hotel where we didn't even have to pay the water bill.
One day my mom told me not to be an actor. I said, "But mommy, I will make a lot of money!"
I gave an emo kid money.
He gave me the great depression.
"5 dollars if a fat guy can find his penis."