Money

Money jokes

Angel

    • A man who desperately wanted to be good after serving time in prison was visited by an Angel. "You want to change? You can still enter heaven on two conditions. You must bet on the horses with any money you have and pass your winnings to someone less fortunate, and you must never hold on to any beef." The Angel then disappeared.

    The man did as was told and became generous and kind. As he emerged from the betting office with all his money, he would pass every penny of it all to a deserving person each and every time.

    He, however, couldn't seem to avoid meat and would still eat it no matter what.

    When he died, the Angel came back for him.

    "But I'm undeserving; I can't come with you," he said.

    "Yes, you can," replied the Angel, "you gave all your stake (steak) away."

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    • Orphan

    • "Why are all these orphans here?" said Chris.

    "Because their dad went to go get the milk," said MrBeast.

    3 Years Later,

    "I AM GIVING APPLE IN A SHARE TO EVERY ORPHAN IN THE WORLD, AND I'M ALSO GIVING EACH OF THEM 1000000000000 DOLLARS."

    Money memes

    Balance

    • An old lady was low on money because she had spent all of her money on clothes.

    So she decided to go to the bank. She walked up to the guy at the desk. She asked if he could check her balance. He asked a few questions to the old lady, like her weight and her height. He asked her if she had done any exercise recently. She was very confused. She got angry and asked the man again to check her balance. So he stood up, walked next to her and pushed her over. He came to the conclusion that she had a low balance.

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    • Ugliness

    • I'm not saying I'm ugly...

    But when I'm watching porn, the hot, sexy women in my area always pop up and ask me if I'm rich.

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    • Bet

    • Why did Al Qaeda lose $100 on a bet?

    They bet $100 that they wouldn't crash when they went through the Twin Towers.

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    • Wife

    • Your wife dumped you because you are so poor and you are so ugly. You also live under a rock and have no money. You got dumped so hard you can't remember you got dumped.

    Bank

    • One day there was a guy who robbed a bank. A customer at the bank while it happened got the police. Who was that? The police said......

    It’s a wood hulem.

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    • Mamma

    • Your mamma is so fat that she saved me a lot of money by sitting in my car when I wanted to buy a low rider.

    Woman

    • How do you know if a woman that is poor who is between 18-24 years old is poor enough to do anything for money to help pay her bills? She would be working as a lesbian prostitute inside a lesbian hotel in San Francisco, CA.

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