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A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

“What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!”

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.

“Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”

The boy licked his cone and replied:

“Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!”

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

“Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

Watson replied, “I see millions of stars.”

“What does that tell you?”

Watson pondered for a minute.

“Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.” “Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.” “Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.” “Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant.” “Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.” “What does it tell you, Holmes?”

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: “Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!”

I won the lottery for a million dollars today, so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity. – I now have $999,999.75.

Why do women like PacMan so much? How else can you get eaten 3 tomes for a quarter?

What did the football coach say when he went to the bank? -“I want my quarter back.”

Yo mama is so fat, she sat on a quarter and popped a booger out of George Washington’s nose.

what do you call a Anorexic bitch with a yeast infection Quarter pounder with cheese.

A mathematician stumbles home drunk at 3 a.m. and his wife is livid. “You swore that you’d be home by 11:45!” “No,” slurs the mathematician, “I said I’d be home by a quarter of 12.”

I asked a man for ten dollars for a cup of coffee, The man said coffee was only a quarter, I told him I was putting all my begs in one ask it.

no, “quarter quarter”

Yo’ Mama is so stupid, she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for her gumball.