Mistake jokes

The popular girl told me, "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!"

Two weeks later, she shows up pregnant.

...

I guess her rubber broke too.

Kid: What is the biggest mistake you made in your life?

Parents: Go look above the bathroom sink.

Kid goes and looks, but then he realizes.

Two wrongs don't make a right. Take your parents as an example.

What did God say when he made Jake Paul?

"Oops, I made a mistake."

What does a burnt pizza, cold beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?

Someone didn’t pull it out in time.

Meant to say my friend's nan, not man.

Were you born on the side of the highway because that’s where all mistakes happen?

what does an orphanage and a hospital have in common?

people go there to fix their mistakes.

Sorry, I got the joke wrong the first time.

My Butterfingers slipped.

I played piano at a Worthmore disabled elderly center. Then after I was done, I said, "How about you give me a standing ovation?"

I regret it to this day. Now I am forced to live here at Worthmore, and sit on my wheelchair, sad and lonely.

What mistake did the manager of the Twin Towers make?

He replaced all the window cleaners with 2 commercial jets.

I got a sister.

That was a big mistake.

Why did he die?

Because God made a mistake and pressed Ctrl+Z.

You do not spell "computer" like this; you spell it like this: "cumputer."

So three retards walk into a classroom...

Sike, it was the garbage. They mistook it for their classroom.

When my son was little, he loved to draw. Although he would always rip up the paper whenever there was one little slip up. Too bad he became a tattoo artist.....

My ex was an orphan as a child.

I should have taken that as the first sign.

If her parents didn't want her, why would I?

Your hairline is so long they mistake your forehead for a football field.

I was trying to make homemade baby powder until I realized it isn't made from babies, oops wrong ingredient... smh