Mistake jokes
What do you call an idiotic cow?
A mis-steak!
When you accidentally choke your girlfriend to death and then realize that it's your sister so who gives a f**k?
Stephen Hawking's death was simply an accident. He pressed power off instead of sleep mode.
Don't let mistakes drag you down. My dad made one mistake, but it ended up fulfilling the 5-year plan of heat energy generation in less than a millisecond.
Nobody notices your pain, tears, struggles, but why do they notice your mistakes?
Yo mama so fat she ate Saturn and mistook it for bubble gum.
When God created women, it was an accident. He meant to make a man, but then "WHOA-MAN!!"
I have sex daily, I mean dyslexia, fuck!
When you accidentally turn in your suicide note instead of your essay to the teacher, but she still gives you an A.
A heavily pregnant woman is in an accident and gives birth to twins while comatose. Upon awakening some days later, the doctors tell her that her brother Tom filled out the birth certificates while she was out.
"Oh no, Tom's an idiot, what did he name my daughter?" she asked the nurse.
"Denise."
"That's not a bad name. And what did he name the boy?"
"Tom Junior."
So, I took a poop outside. When I was done, I wiped and got it on my finger. After that, I had Nutella, and I thought the poop on my hand was Nutella, and I licked it. I said, "Daddy chill, what in the heck is this crap?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I was horrified when my wife told me that my six-year-old son wasn't actually mine. Apparently, I need to pay more attention during school pick-up.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to go and have some fun.
Silly Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son.
The experienced carpenter really nailed it, but the new guy screwed everything up.
I am never wrong. One time I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.
What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?
Oops!
I used to think 11/11 was mistakenly 9/11.
Sans: I like eating ketchup, don't believe me? It's ASRIEL as it gets!
UT Sans to UT pap: You FORGHETTIE the spaghetti!!!
Ink sans: umm lust? That's INKAPPROPRIATE!
Fell sans: I hate these double standards...if you burn a body at a crematorium you're doing "a good job," do it at home and your "destroying evidence."
Error sans: Every time you make a typo, the errorists win.
Teacher: "What is the opposite of the following sentence: 'Children in the dark make mistakes'?"
Student: "Mistakes in the dark make children."
When you go to your girlfriend's house but accidentally go into her dad's room and fuck him anyway.