Mistake jokes

It's a grave mistake to talk badly about the death.

When you ask your mom for candy but you grab from the wrong drawer...

What do whales use to rub out a mistake in their homework? Their blubber.

I said "Uranus!" and the girl beside me face-palmed. I wonder what I did wrong?

Why did Stephen Hawking die? ... Because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep."

Why were the Twin Towers angry?

They ordered pepperoni, but they only got plane.

The popular girl told me, "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!"

Two weeks later, she shows up pregnant.

...

I guess her rubber broke too.

I accidentally handed my wife a glue stick instead of a chapstick. She still isn't talking to me.

Spell "IOUT", no space.

You need to play a B flat, not a C sharp, you just got band!

My husband asked me to get 6 cans of Sprite at the store. I realized when I got home that I had picked 7-Up.

You know what is the worst mistake every human being made?

Answer: Living.

What is a failed abortion? Annabelle.

The Twin Towers ordered 3 tacos.

One was just a plane tortilla.

The other one was also just a plane tortilla.

And the third one went to the wrong address.

You just made a Mist-ake.

What did the doctor say to the mother after delivering the baby? Sorry.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.

Jack got high and slapped his thigh and said, "You know you wanna."

Jill said yes, picked up her dress and said, "Let's have some fun!"

Silly ole Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.

Did you know that Stephen Hawking's death was an accident because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep mode?"

They say mistakes make you stronger. If that were true, then whoever made that nonexistent thing called “women's rights” would have muscles bigger than a white girl.

What mistake did the manager of the Twin Towers make?

He replaced all the window cleaners with 2 commercial jets.