Mistake jokes
I was trying to make homemade baby powder until I realized it isn't made from babies, oops wrong ingredient... smh
You learn from mistakes!
That's why you're an only child!
My wife (or husband) told me to get six cans of Sprite from the grocery store.
I had just realized when I got home that I had picked up 7-Up.
Yo, barber fucked up so bad he pulled out a "Plants vs. Zombies" map and that shii fit perfectly.
I said "Uranus!" and the girl beside me face-palmed. I wonder what I did wrong?
Why were the Twin Towers angry?
They ordered pepperoni, but they only got plane.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? ... Because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep."
I accidentally handed my wife a glue stick instead of a chapstick. She still isn't talking to me.
Spell "IOUT", no space.
You need to play a B flat, not a C sharp, you just got band!
My husband asked me to get 6 cans of Sprite at the store. I realized when I got home that I had picked 7-Up.
You know what is the worst mistake every human being made?
Answer: Living.
What is a failed abortion? Annabelle.
I wish I knew life, but my dad said it was a mistake to begin with.
They say mistakes make you stronger. If that were true, then whoever made that nonexistent thing called “women's rights” would have muscles bigger than a white girl.
What mistake did the manager of the Twin Towers make?
He replaced all the window cleaners with 2 commercial jets.
Did you know that Stephen Hawking's death was an accident because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep mode?"
Your hairline is so long they mistake your forehead for a football field.
I got a sister.
That was a big mistake.
Q: What is the worst thing to hear your surgeon say?
A: Oops, I dropped my lollipop!