The Ruler of Varvona wanted a fruitcake, but his subjects showed up at his castle with a Christian instead.
And he said: "NO, NO, NO! YOU IMBECILES! NOT THAT KIND OF FRUITCAKE!"
It's a grave mistake to talk badly about the death.
When you ask your mom for candy but you grab from the wrong drawer...
Why was the twin towers angry
They ordered pepperoni but they only got plane
Why did Stephen Hawking die? ... Because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep."
The popular girl told me, "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!"
Two weeks later, she shows up pregnant.
...
I guess her rubber broke too.
I accidentally handed my wife a glue stick instead of a chapstick. She still isn't talking to me.
Spell "IOUT", no space.
My husband asked me to get 6 cans of Sprite at the store. I realized when I got home that I had picked 7-Up.
You need to play a B flat, not a C sharp, you just got band!
You know what is the worst mistake every human being made?
Answer: Living.
What is a failed abortion? Annabelle.
You just made a Mist-ake.
What did the doctor say to the mother after delivering the baby? Sorry.
I got a sister.
That was a big mistake.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marihuana, Jack got high and slapped his thigh and said you know you wanna, Jill said yes picked up her dress and said lets have some fun, silly ole Jill forgot her pill and know they have a son.
Your hairline is so long they mistake your forehead for a football field.
I wish I knew life, but my dad said it was a mistake to begin with.
Q: What is the worst thing to hear your surgeon say?
A: Oops, I dropped my lollipop!
POV: You accidentally get H in your IV drip.
