Misfortune jokes
We have been cursed by curse-ive.
What does an orphan call a family picture?
A selfie.
I piss on blind kids and tell them it's raining.
When I was feeling suicidal, I called the suicide hotline and they left me hanging.
When I try to eat, but I hurt my feet. When I using a hoe, but I hurt my toe. When I going to a doctor, but then I get trolled. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I using a copper, but I enveloped by a hopper. When I trying to draw someone, but it ended up with a punishment. When I spit on a bunny, it jumps right on me. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I growing older, someone called me a slacker. When I was 33, I bumped into a tree. When I getting angry, people calls me crazy lady. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
ohio lol
Q: How do you know a wishing well works?
A: If your mother-in-law falls down it.
Today was a bittersweet day...
Bad news is my friend was assaulted. Good news is I successfully sneak attacked someone!
Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
Why can’t Sally get a hair cut? She has cancer.
What did the orphan do when he got punched?
Nothing, because his parents weren't there! :)
Today was a bad day. First, my ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver.
Doctor approaches a patient in Hospital and says, "I have some good news and bad news."
So the patient says, "What is the bad news?" the Doctor replies, "I have had to amputate both your legs." So the patient says, "Well, what is the good news?" The Doctor replies, "I have found someone to buy your slippers."
Everything I fall in love with leaves me. Maybe if I fall in love with my depression, it'll leave me too.
Why did Little Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus.
What's worse than finding 10 babies in 10 dumpsters?
Finding 1 baby in 10 dumpsters.
What is the difference between me and cancer?
My mom did beat cancer.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
Why do orphans like boomerangs? Cause they come back.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Girls are like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
If you hit an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
If you hit an orphan with a car, at least you don't have to tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.
Why was the orphan a big success? Cause people say go big or go home, he only had one option.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What do orphans and blind kids have in common? They can’t see their parents.
Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt? Because they don’t know what a mummy is.
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
I lost my bag. :(
What did the kid say to the orphan?
"Well, at least I have parents!"
"Luck of the Irish my ass, I just blew a tranny and an engine in my truck both in the same week... Boy it really ruined my day when they found out about each other."