When I was feeling suicidal, I called the suicide hotline and they left me hanging.
Misfortune Jokes
Why did the African child wake up suddenly? Because he was being sexually abused.
I asked my mom what is dark humor. She said "see them boy over there in the wheelchair, ask him to walk." I said, "but I’m blind." She responded, "Exactly."
I would roast BlessedBrian, but it seems LIFE already did a thorough job.
Sorry to hear you feel like poo!
A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his best friend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.
I've been hit by several things in my life.
Sadly, never a car.
What has 2 arms but no legs?
A crippled woman with no more meaning in her life.
My dad is unlucky.
I was walking past an orphan and I said, "Just go home."
What do u call an Asian that was born at the wrong time?
Wrong тайминг.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
Why do orphans like boomerangs? Cause they come back.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Girls are like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
If you hit an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
If you hit an orphan with a car, at least you don't have to tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.
Why was the orphan a big success? Cause people say go big or go home, he only had one option.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What do orphans and blind kids have in common? They can’t see their parents.
Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt? Because they don’t know what a mummy is.
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Today sucked. My girlfriend got hit by a car, and I lost my job as an Uber driver.
What does a blind kid and an orphan have in common?
They can’t see their parents.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a bucket of water. Jack fell down, his cock was out, and Jill gained a daughter.
You're an orphan.
Are you depressed? Go punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
You look like a double dipped chocolate chip cliff flipped glazed charcoal slim jim Mr. clog hunch frap, no feet, 9 arms, 17 stomachs. You stepdad beat you with a wiffle ball bat. NBA Youngboy was in your bathroom spitting on you and now you got herpes on your left side cheek.
Why do orphans have no parents?
Because no one loves them.