New Misfortune Jokes

I asked my mom what is dark humor. She said "see them boy over there in the wheelchair, ask him to walk." I said, "but I’m blind." She responded, "Exactly."

I've been hit by several things in my life.

Sadly, never a car.

What do u call an Asian that was born at the wrong time wrong tai ming

Once an orphan got a girlfriend. He regretted it. She left him too.

Like this post to give someone you hate bad luck.

What is the worst motivational thing to say to a suicidal person?

"If at first you don’t succeed, try again and again until you succeed."

Jack and Jill went up a hill his condom ripped and now they are from Alabama

There is this celebrity everybody thought was so down to earth. That was until he hung himself.

Sultan Khan was an courtier in akbar s' court he wanted to make his son the royal treasure but his cunning plans always failed Sultan khan thought that birbal was to play his son's misfortune so he looked for a opportunity to get rid of birbal one day birbal was late to the emperor 's court seeing this angry when sultan khan said your majesty don't you think that birbal is taking his position he has been late these days this must be another plan to trap birbal said akbar So he decided to wait and see what and see what birbal would do So akbar sit next to suman khan and said yes he must be punished Suman khan was amazed to see his plan work this time From now you should not agree to anything he says today Akbar replied agreed Soon birbal came to court Please spare me from being here late my wife was unwell Akbar immediately said no Birbal was surprised He tried again by saying but that's the truth Please belive me Again akbar replied no There must be something going on thought birbal himself Then he asked can we discover important matters today Akbar immediately replied no we will not Then may I go home asked birbal Akbar said no you will stay here this evening said akbar enjoying himself Birbal understood what was happening Oh so this is my game the emperor is saying no to all my questions He saw around and saw suman khan smiling to see him in trouble This must be his idea Let me teach him a lesson The clever birbal thought to akbar Very well he said But I have a last request will you please listen to me Akbar saw what birbal had done He was very pleased and called loudly No I will not listen to you That is all birbal said before returning to his seat Suman khan was thunned and angry And birbal had outwitted him an he could not make his son the treasure

Things I would have missed if my attempt in 2018 worked...

My attempts in 2019, 2020, and 2021!

"What did the blind, dumb, paraplegic, death eight year old child get for their birthday?"

"Cancer"

Look, I didn't hit rock bottom. I gracefully floated down there like Mary Poppins with an umbrella.

Remember kids, when you're angry, burn down an orphanage. Then they'll really be living the hard knock life.

My happiest moment in life was getting a positive grade on my H.I.V. test without studying.

Today was a bad day. First My ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver

Why did Little Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus.

Doctor approaches a patient in Hospital and says, "I have some good news and bad news."

So the patient says, "What is the bad news?" the Doctor replies, "I have had to amputate both your legs." So the patient says, "Well, what is the good news?" The Doctor replies, "I have found someone to buy your slippers."

Your at a buffet, you think your hungry for two, but misfortune happens when you think of your self, you get stuck looking at sides in the buffet, a roly poly gal you see in corner of your eye, eyeballing the main dishes in front at the end, you go in for the pickings, you get intercepted by a far more hungrier matter, but you find yourself getting slamed over the buffet table, and realize you are gasping for air, and she's is tenderizing you for dinner.